Thursday, September 29, 2011
first birthday party!
nine adults, two babies, a mountain of presents, two homemade cakes, homemade ice cream and even a pink hair bow (for a little while anyway). so fun. a million thanks to auntie courtney for the wonderful photos.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
one year
violet is a year old. A YEAR OLD. i was sitting there on the couch, relishing my breakfast burrito, and then she was here, a little alien in a standard-issue striped beanie. we couldn't get a nurse to come and examine her first dirty diaper, even though its contents looked nothing like melted snickers, and when she defied the "back to sleep" embroidery on her pajamas by sleeping on her stomach, the tree in the backyard went bare while we spent those nights in the red chair and kevin kept the dogs alive. there was that day she came home from daycare with a bruise the shape of baby dentures on her arm, and then the gate we bought to protect her fell on top of her instead, and then she ate a waffle with honey in it. by some grace, she lived, and it was september 18th again.
to be fair, they do tell you about the worry. "you'll never stop worrying about your kids, even after they go to college." kevin and i are worriers, so we thought oh the worry, that's one thing we're not worried about. we should collect benefits because we're veterans when it comes to worry. well, you can probably guess how that turned out.
there are a lot of things they don't tell you too. i had no idea that when i was changing violet's first diaper, i'd be wearing one of my own, a mesh one over a giant ice pack that you crack like a glowstick. kevin had no idea that he'd spend his first night as a father sleeping on the tile floor because the hospital ran out of beds. and who knew that i'd master the art (or that there was an art?) of going to the bathroom one-handed, with a baby attached to my boob, and that the only thing more cracked than my nipples would be kevin's hands from doing 45 minutes of bottle dishes every night?
i used to think that new parents disappeared into the ether because they were just so swept up in their "new lives" like a college roommate with a new boyfriend. and we are swept up. our floors aren't, much less our roof gutters, and sometimes our teeth aren't brushed either. and if you're wondering how i have time to write this blog post, that reminds me of another surprise this year has brought - how skilled i've become at typing one-handed while sitting on the floor of an empty conference room and steadying breast pump horns with my other hand. horns. if the first thing that word makes you think of is a goat or the devil, well, i'd imagine that's how this lactation apparatus got its name.
i thought, no problem, i can live without champagne and margaritas and three glasses of ZD pinot noir on thanksgiving while i'm pregnant, heck, even while i'm breastfeeding, but now i realize that i won't actually drink again until violet is old enough to drink herself, and even then i probably won't drink, not really, because who's going to drive her home after she has one too many at a friend's wedding? a taxi??
kevin and i both thought we'd sleep again too. and maybe we will, when we're 85 and sedated. they don't outright say that you can't understand the sleep deprivation until you're in it. "get your sleep now," they chuckle, those condescending assholes. i'd smile and nod while the baby kicked away and think, please, i've read all the sleep books already. all you have to do is get to three months, and then babies sleep through the night. and if they do give you a little guff, well, you just leave them in their crib "fussing" and "protesting" and "(euphemism for weeping inconsolably)" while making checkmarks on your handy ferber chart, and before you know it, you'll all be getting so much beauty sleep that heidi klum will look a little ragged next to you.
"you'll cry," my work friend told me. "you'll pump milk, you'll spill it, and it's okay to cry." i rubbed my pregnant belly and thanked her, and later, while weeping over three ounces soaking my lap, i thought, she tried to tell me. sometimes they try to tell you, but there's only so much they can do. there's a reason you don't watch "carrie" while getting your manicure on prom night. there's a reason you don't read articles about the unemployment rate over your toast and coffee on graduation day.
"one day it's you and your wife at the dinner table, and then there's this third person who's always there too," kevin's work friend said. he didn't mention this third person would throw every other bite of food at us, or on the floor, or on the dogs, but it was helpful advice anyway. concrete imagery.
but no matter what anyone advised or hinted or omitted, there's nothing that could have prepared kevin and me for how our lives would change when violet arrived. we knew we'd be giving up pieces of ourselves and that the spaces left behind would be filled by her, and while it's true that has indeed happened, it hasn't happened at all how we expected. before, we wanted more than anything to live long, healthy, meaningful lives; now, more than anything, we want violet to live a long, healthy, meaningful life - and by everything that is sacred, it had better be longer than ours.
we love this kid so much. we would do anything to make her happy. we've performed dance moves so bad they make the white man's overbite look like swan lake, and that's just to make her laugh.
and this is only the beginning.
the first piece of writing advice that i heard in a fiction class - a very famous quote from e.l. doctorow - is that writing is like driving a car at night. you never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. i think it's a metaphor (okay, a simile) that encapsulates parenting even more perfectly.
happy birthday, violet. you are a more amazing daughter than we could have imagined, and we can't wait to see what's around the next bend.
to be fair, they do tell you about the worry. "you'll never stop worrying about your kids, even after they go to college." kevin and i are worriers, so we thought oh the worry, that's one thing we're not worried about. we should collect benefits because we're veterans when it comes to worry. well, you can probably guess how that turned out.
there are a lot of things they don't tell you too. i had no idea that when i was changing violet's first diaper, i'd be wearing one of my own, a mesh one over a giant ice pack that you crack like a glowstick. kevin had no idea that he'd spend his first night as a father sleeping on the tile floor because the hospital ran out of beds. and who knew that i'd master the art (or that there was an art?) of going to the bathroom one-handed, with a baby attached to my boob, and that the only thing more cracked than my nipples would be kevin's hands from doing 45 minutes of bottle dishes every night?
i used to think that new parents disappeared into the ether because they were just so swept up in their "new lives" like a college roommate with a new boyfriend. and we are swept up. our floors aren't, much less our roof gutters, and sometimes our teeth aren't brushed either. and if you're wondering how i have time to write this blog post, that reminds me of another surprise this year has brought - how skilled i've become at typing one-handed while sitting on the floor of an empty conference room and steadying breast pump horns with my other hand. horns. if the first thing that word makes you think of is a goat or the devil, well, i'd imagine that's how this lactation apparatus got its name.
i thought, no problem, i can live without champagne and margaritas and three glasses of ZD pinot noir on thanksgiving while i'm pregnant, heck, even while i'm breastfeeding, but now i realize that i won't actually drink again until violet is old enough to drink herself, and even then i probably won't drink, not really, because who's going to drive her home after she has one too many at a friend's wedding? a taxi??
kevin and i both thought we'd sleep again too. and maybe we will, when we're 85 and sedated. they don't outright say that you can't understand the sleep deprivation until you're in it. "get your sleep now," they chuckle, those condescending assholes. i'd smile and nod while the baby kicked away and think, please, i've read all the sleep books already. all you have to do is get to three months, and then babies sleep through the night. and if they do give you a little guff, well, you just leave them in their crib "fussing" and "protesting" and "(euphemism for weeping inconsolably)" while making checkmarks on your handy ferber chart, and before you know it, you'll all be getting so much beauty sleep that heidi klum will look a little ragged next to you.
"you'll cry," my work friend told me. "you'll pump milk, you'll spill it, and it's okay to cry." i rubbed my pregnant belly and thanked her, and later, while weeping over three ounces soaking my lap, i thought, she tried to tell me. sometimes they try to tell you, but there's only so much they can do. there's a reason you don't watch "carrie" while getting your manicure on prom night. there's a reason you don't read articles about the unemployment rate over your toast and coffee on graduation day.
"one day it's you and your wife at the dinner table, and then there's this third person who's always there too," kevin's work friend said. he didn't mention this third person would throw every other bite of food at us, or on the floor, or on the dogs, but it was helpful advice anyway. concrete imagery.
but no matter what anyone advised or hinted or omitted, there's nothing that could have prepared kevin and me for how our lives would change when violet arrived. we knew we'd be giving up pieces of ourselves and that the spaces left behind would be filled by her, and while it's true that has indeed happened, it hasn't happened at all how we expected. before, we wanted more than anything to live long, healthy, meaningful lives; now, more than anything, we want violet to live a long, healthy, meaningful life - and by everything that is sacred, it had better be longer than ours.
we love this kid so much. we would do anything to make her happy. we've performed dance moves so bad they make the white man's overbite look like swan lake, and that's just to make her laugh.
and this is only the beginning.
the first piece of writing advice that i heard in a fiction class - a very famous quote from e.l. doctorow - is that writing is like driving a car at night. you never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. i think it's a metaphor (okay, a simile) that encapsulates parenting even more perfectly.
happy birthday, violet. you are a more amazing daughter than we could have imagined, and we can't wait to see what's around the next bend.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
playing catch-up
when violet developed a low fever on monday, i thought she was having a reaction to the MMR vaccine and/or flu shot that she got at her 12-month appointment (where the line on her weight chart chugged ever so slightly upward like the little engine that could), but now that my own sinuses are clogged, i realize that we're just sick. i promise to post all of the birthday festivities soon, but after missing a couple days of work, i'm digging out of a hole. it's hard to work from home with the poor ailing munch wanting to be held for naps and then trying to "help" by hitting send on an email to my boss that i hadn't actually finished yet. luckily we're both already on the upswing, so i think it's just a fleeting end-of-summer cold. (kevin, however, seems to have finally come down with it, poor dada.)
to tide over the most ravenous of violet fans, here are some cute pics that aunt mary sent of our pasadena visit, where violet demonstrated her love of bling, along with her future potential to pay her way through college as a pole dancer.
violet! this is a family blog!
to tide over the most ravenous of violet fans, here are some cute pics that aunt mary sent of our pasadena visit, where violet demonstrated her love of bling, along with her future potential to pay her way through college as a pole dancer.
violet! this is a family blog!
8 days
violet's only living great-grandparent - my mom's dad - turned 94 only 8 days before violet turned 1. the generation gap is mind-boggling. it makes me happy to know they're both virgos. my grandpa is a true virgo's virgo, practical and industrious, with a memory for detail like no other. at his birthday party, i didn't think he was even listening to my mom talking about driving cross-country with her best friend some four decades ago, but suddenly he piped up about "farley" - the name of my mom's car at the time. when he traveled to new york for my grad school commencement, he didn't need any guidance around the city. after all, he'd lived there - some seven decades prior. he even remembers details about the beach at coronado, where he lived when he was 4 years old. the only thing i remember from that age is the merry-go-round from my birthday party at mcdonalds. i can only hope violet inherits his memory gene. she's got the goods on kevin's side of the family too. grandma linden is a jeopardy savant.
my mom's side of the family is small but mighty, just like its youngest member, and we gathered together for pie and ice cream to celebrate my grandpa's big day. for such a clingy momma's girl, violet sure knows how to ham it up. she had a blast playing with her cousins. of course everyone wants to snuggle her, but the wiggle worm makes it almost impossible to get a decent picture.
to revive our family tradition, in limbo since my great-uncle everett passed away, i made homemade vanilla ice cream with my new ice cream maker that kevin gave me for my birthday. the birthday boy polished off the last bites - rightfully so!
the newest virgo also got her first taste of frozen dairy goodness. as nana commented, violet has never opened her baby-bird beak so wide for more. super-love of ice cream - yet another family trait. as my grandpa said the last time my mom took him to baskin robbins, "want to go again?" "sure, next time i come up," my mom misunderstood. what he meant was another round of sundaes. how my heart melts.
my mom's side of the family is small but mighty, just like its youngest member, and we gathered together for pie and ice cream to celebrate my grandpa's big day. for such a clingy momma's girl, violet sure knows how to ham it up. she had a blast playing with her cousins. of course everyone wants to snuggle her, but the wiggle worm makes it almost impossible to get a decent picture.
to revive our family tradition, in limbo since my great-uncle everett passed away, i made homemade vanilla ice cream with my new ice cream maker that kevin gave me for my birthday. the birthday boy polished off the last bites - rightfully so!
the newest virgo also got her first taste of frozen dairy goodness. as nana commented, violet has never opened her baby-bird beak so wide for more. super-love of ice cream - yet another family trait. as my grandpa said the last time my mom took him to baskin robbins, "want to go again?" "sure, next time i come up," my mom misunderstood. what he meant was another round of sundaes. how my heart melts.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
breaking news!
i want to interrupt this posting hiatus (i've been buried at work, kevin had a migraine in the middle of the night, the house has been inundated with painters, tree trimmers and sprinkler repairers, and we're all a little worse for wear) with a special report: violet took her first steps last night! she'll only do it with encouragement, back and forth between our arms for two or three steps before collapse, but i think it's as big of an adrenaline rush for us as it is for her.
whenever the camera came out, violet refused to perform her toddles, but we did snap these couple of just-before-bedtime-routine shots to commemorate the event. so cute, she walks exactly like her dada after a martini or three.
whenever the camera came out, violet refused to perform her toddles, but we did snap these couple of just-before-bedtime-routine shots to commemorate the event. so cute, she walks exactly like her dada after a martini or three.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
farewell to summer
it's supposed to hit 107 degrees in the valley tomorrow, but no matter. labor day is over, which means the fall season is upon us! halloween decorations are on display at the drug store, so that makes it official (unlike that pesky "first day of fall" that's still a few weeks off). last year we were living the newborn blur, and a lot of my favorite holiday traditions fell by the wayside, but this year i get to share them with (/impose them upon) violet.
me: do you want to binge-eat christmas cookies and go see holiday lights??
violet:
kevin might protest my countdown to christmas, but he can't deny his excitement about his christmas - the start of NFL season. he tried to get violet enthused about his fantasy draft, but she was clearly more interested in her friend jack's toys (and unguarded electrical outlets) than the draft board you see behind them.
there's some other big news in violet's world. how big? SO BIG!
no way! really? you can't be serious. how big??
yes, she graduated to the big kid table in the infant room, which means she's on table food from here on out. violet noted that her first big kid lunch was a little overcooked and underseasoned, but the portions were generous.
she's also getting good at the snack trap and, if there's a mix of cereals and dry goods inside, actually roots around to get at her favorite, cheddar bunnies (don't judge), and protests when they're all gone. the sippy cup is a work in progress. she drinks from it, but a ridiculous amount of water still ends up soaking her clothes in the process. so much for the highly touted spill-proof engineering. right now it's only water, but is she destined to smell like spoiled milk in the near future? i don't want her to be the smelly kid at school. well, at least not the smelliest. especially since she's apparently still the most disheveled (evidence: sent home with pigtails).
we have a lot of outings planned for the coming weekends, so we mostly hung around the house over the holiday. we made time for music appreciation (mozart AND wilco), and we took a few pretend drives, always making sure that stuffed banana was secured in the car trunk. girl needs her potassium.
we did take one special trip, out to pasadena to visit kevin's aunt mary and uncle jim, who were passing through town for the day. they have six grandkids of their own, including their only granddaughter who is six months older than violet, so it's going to be amazing when all the cousins finally get together, including our niece, nephew and nephew-to-be on kevin's side. we have fantasies of a beach extravaganza down in tybee island, georgia, where aunt mary and uncle jim live, and to prepare violet for this future event, violet's great aunt and uncle gave her a dolphin t-shirt and stuffed turtle puppet from their hometown. violet appreciated the gifts but for some reason would only show off a bottle of water and pack of soggy kleenex for the camera.
violet further demonstrated her love for her aunt and uncle by sitting in her dinner plate and smearing zucchini pancake and banana all over their beautiful hotel suite. she's going to miss them!
and she's going to miss the lazy days of summer too, since life is, of course, more fun when you're naked.
me: do you want to binge-eat christmas cookies and go see holiday lights??
violet:
kevin might protest my countdown to christmas, but he can't deny his excitement about his christmas - the start of NFL season. he tried to get violet enthused about his fantasy draft, but she was clearly more interested in her friend jack's toys (and unguarded electrical outlets) than the draft board you see behind them.
there's some other big news in violet's world. how big? SO BIG!
no way! really? you can't be serious. how big??
yes, she graduated to the big kid table in the infant room, which means she's on table food from here on out. violet noted that her first big kid lunch was a little overcooked and underseasoned, but the portions were generous.
she's also getting good at the snack trap and, if there's a mix of cereals and dry goods inside, actually roots around to get at her favorite, cheddar bunnies (don't judge), and protests when they're all gone. the sippy cup is a work in progress. she drinks from it, but a ridiculous amount of water still ends up soaking her clothes in the process. so much for the highly touted spill-proof engineering. right now it's only water, but is she destined to smell like spoiled milk in the near future? i don't want her to be the smelly kid at school. well, at least not the smelliest. especially since she's apparently still the most disheveled (evidence: sent home with pigtails).
we have a lot of outings planned for the coming weekends, so we mostly hung around the house over the holiday. we made time for music appreciation (mozart AND wilco), and we took a few pretend drives, always making sure that stuffed banana was secured in the car trunk. girl needs her potassium.
we did take one special trip, out to pasadena to visit kevin's aunt mary and uncle jim, who were passing through town for the day. they have six grandkids of their own, including their only granddaughter who is six months older than violet, so it's going to be amazing when all the cousins finally get together, including our niece, nephew and nephew-to-be on kevin's side. we have fantasies of a beach extravaganza down in tybee island, georgia, where aunt mary and uncle jim live, and to prepare violet for this future event, violet's great aunt and uncle gave her a dolphin t-shirt and stuffed turtle puppet from their hometown. violet appreciated the gifts but for some reason would only show off a bottle of water and pack of soggy kleenex for the camera.
violet further demonstrated her love for her aunt and uncle by sitting in her dinner plate and smearing zucchini pancake and banana all over their beautiful hotel suite. she's going to miss them!
and she's going to miss the lazy days of summer too, since life is, of course, more fun when you're naked.
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