as summer winds down

i feel like i'm never going to catch up on this blog, but i want to get to it because violet turned two this week, so of course that needs documenting! thus please prepare for a rushed post with pics from the end of our summer vacation.

from disneyland, we drove to santa barbara. along the way we suffered a tire blowout going 80 mph on the highway followed by a series of unfortunate events culminating with me rocking a screaming violet to sleep for a two-hour nap, which she took in my lap, in the backseat of my car, in an in n' out parking lot in oxnard, in the 95-degree heat. attached to my boob of course. at least the breeze in santa barbara was all the more sweet.

we spent a few days relaxing before attending the wedding of our dear friends todd and tracy. they got married at the courthouse, and wow, that must be the most beautiful courthouse in the world. on the front lawn, i attempted a little photo shoot of violet in her dress. fifty tries, and i did get one cute close-up and one red carpet worthy full-dress shot of miss sassyface:

the wedding was intimate, maybe 40 guests, and as violet was the only toddler present, i was completely paranoid that she would scream "i dohn yike big pooh" at the emotional pinnacle. there was a folding table in the hallway outside the mural room, so i plopped her on top if it with an episode of diego (on the kindle fire, most beloved of our electronics), and thus i was able to enjoy the ceremony from the doorway. out of all of our friends, "hot bod todd" is the one you'd have put your money on as our george clooney, and watching him marry his perfect girl was yet another poignant reminder of how life really is moving full steam ahead.

kevin proceeded to a kid-free night of gastronomic bliss at the san ysidro ranch while violet and i spent the evening trolling state street, ucsb freshman styles, by which i mean i had a drink, and violet climbed all over the public artworks with an utter disregard for propriety.

all of the wedding guests were staying at the victorian-style upham hotel - cute in every way except for its paper thin walls. we encouraged violet to practice her "inside voice"; she instead devoted her efforts to operatics. there was no way to pretend the shrieking was some other kid either, since she was pretty much the only kid there. she was certainly the only kid racing around the gourmet breakfast buffet demanding, "i want moh agua! mommy wants coffee! i dohn yike coffee, yuck! eck! i want yohg! the blue one mommy not the red one, THE BLUE ONE MOMMY NOT THE RED ONE I WANT BUH-NAH!" and leaving a trail of banana peels in her wake.

she is getting very good at drawing circles by the way.

not so much at sleeping in cribs.

have i adequately enthused about how awesome santa barbara is? look at this freaking playground!

i do wonder what it would be like to live in santa barbara. it's the same with kauai, where kevin and i like to daydream about retiring (early, of course). would it be awful to actually live there? like it's so exquisitely beautiful, and then it opens its mouth to speak, like david beckham.

my favorite part of the trip was our walk on the beach. i don't think you could say that kevin and i are "beach people," not with the need for 50+ spf to be reapplied hourly, but i think everyone has their landscape that makes them feel most serene, and for us, that's the beach. for me, i doubt there's any way to grow up in san diego and not feel a sense of calm, or at least home, once you get past the slog of the hot dry sand and sink your toes into the packed mud at the water's edge. but then i'm a water sign too, so maybe it's inborn for me? i can't speak for violet, but she already loves the ocean. "i want go in ocean with my naked body!" the barefoot hippie is an earth sign, after all.

kevin and i also took violet on a drive up to los olivos, land of our own wedding, and made a stop at a place i've always wanted to go, the cold spring tavern, which is basically a biker hangout in the foothills below lake cachuma. in the car at one point, kevin was, let's say, dissatisfied with my navigating, and he shouted, "goddamnit!" "goddamnit!" violet agreed. "oh no, only grown-ups say that word, not kids," i bumbled. violet took a thoughtful pause, then confirmed, "dada said goddamnit." at least she was among her kin at the tavern, with several hell's angels types joining us for scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy, and strong coffee.

now that i really think about it, as much as i loved our visit to the beach, my very favorite moment was walking out of the tavern to find kevin and violet looking for bluebirds. i don't know how else to say it. the world is magic again.

i dohn yike big pooh

aaaand we're back, disneyland!

our summer vacation was a two-parter this year, and part one was two days at the magic kingdom. while i personally feel that "brainwash" is a strong word, i will say that mama the hype machine had violet primed for her return to the park. at 23 months, violet didn't appear to have any recollection of her first trip (at 14 months), but she was excited nonetheless, thanks to our daily readings of her prized "mickey books," a steady rotation of the official album of disneyland's 50th anniversary (kevin and i were in attendance on july 17, 2005, so obviously i needed the double disc), and of course my daily chatter about how the pirate boat would speed down a big hill and go splash! as if disney marketing really needs help from me.

with nana, poppy and auntie courtney joining, i thought it would be fun to do a character meal, so i signed us up for the minnie & friends brunch at the plaza inn on main street. things started off great. violet got a balloon. she was psyched.

i made sure to arrange her high chair so that she had the best view of the room, and soon enough, tigger happily ambled towards our table. "yay! look! tigger!" we enthused. violet's eyes went wide, and her face fell as she dissolved into a frantic mess of utter terror. knowing the drill, tigger executed a dancy 180, but the damage was done. we rearranged violet's chair in hopes that she'd forget about the roaming costumed giants, but for the rest of the meal, it was all we could do to wave them off as violet would wheel around in her seat and scream, "i dohn yike big pooh!" now there's something you want your kid yelling in public. for the rest of the trip, violet repeatedly clarified that she likes the "leetle" characters; the big ones, not so much. as we exited the plaza inn, she pointed at tigger across the room, crucible-style, and shouted, "you go home, tigger! you go home to your own house!"

don't worry, though. we had plenty of success. violet's #1 favorite ride, far and away, was the carousel, and she talks about it practically everyday. she rode it at least three times. her #2 favorite was the horse-drawn trolley. those main street vehicles are so great for the toddler set. she also loved the jungle boat, the teacups, alice in wonderland, casey jr. circus train, winnie the pooh, the tiki room (probably because we lied that the toucan was her beloved señor toucan from dora), and of course the disneyland railroad. she was pretty lukewarm about peter pan and it's a small world, and she hid her face in my chest for the vast majority of the finding nemo submarines, the haunted mansion (shocking, i know), and the pirates of the caribbean (despite her continued insistence that she loves riding the pirate boat that goes splash). man, i've never realized how LOUD the rides are. i think that's really what scares her -- that and the darkness. it's not like a skeleton means anything to her at this point. in fact, she loves this totally age-inappropriate children's book about a ghost who's searching for the leg bone that a dog stole from his grave.

she was also obsessed with dumbo, but kevin and i weren't willing to stand in line for that on day one.

she watched for awhile, so longingly that i brought her back super early the next morning just so that we could ride without the pain of a long wait. also, because she was disappointed in our inability to snag a purple teacup (we had to settle for a measly pink), i managed to get us into a purple one early too. i'll take my number #1 mom pin anytime, v.

other big hits were goofy's house in toontown

princess tiana's jewels in the bibbidi bobbidi boutique

and of course a steady diet of bread and cheese.

the big highlight for the adults -- aside from the joy of witnessing violet's joy, which i say without a trace of snark because it really is truly, truly awesome -- was our stay at the recently renovated disneyland hotel. the detail work is just fantastic. even the sconces aside the bathroom mirrors are held up by mickey's gloves. if left to her own devices, violet probably would have skipped the magic kingdom and spent all day in the three swimming pools, including a really fun splash pool where she could "swim by my own self." either that, or just played in the hotel room's curtains.

i had big plans to keep her up for the fireworks, but she just couldn't make it. she fell asleep in my arms amid hundreds of people, blaring music and explosions, as we made our way up main street. luckily, we had our very own fireworks display to enjoy.

as i told kevin, this picture will make me happy forever.

go west, young g-ma

hi, family. hi, friends. it's been a little while. we're back from vacation and a lot is going on, but i want to catch up proper, so let's resume where we left off.

grandma linden came to visit! g-ma hadn't seen violet in over a year, but we've talked about her plenty (and to her on the phone plenty: "i yuh yoo gammah leed"), so violet was eagerly anticipating her arrival and just loved having her in the house. it's so exciting to see violet warm to family she too rarely gets to see. i can't wait until we're able to fly back east to see kevin's entire extended family, including three little cousins that violet is dying to meet. we've yet to venture into the world of toddler air travel, and the reason is, well, we're chicken. go ahead and mock, and we'll go ahead and squawk.

lucky for us grandma was willing to come west again. of course violet insisted upon a tour of her favorite haunts, and at the top of that list was the grove and dinner at the farmer's market. violet tried to convince grandma to get rice and beans from loteria, but grandma stuck with a po-boy from the cajun stand. next time don't forget your bib, grandma!

linden's visit coincided with the jertberg family reunion at "the ranch" about an hour east in ontario. my mother's grandmother was one of seven, and every other summer the descendants descend upon the ranch -- an aging storybook property that's been in the family for generations. there's a swimming pool complete with two retrievers doggy paddling alongside all the kids and surrounded by trellises exploding with grapevines in full bloom. i still remember how excited i was the first time i picked a grape as a child, and the disappointment as the sour juice hit my tongue. there are rusted over antique cars parked in the weeds, a barbecue pit where the pig is roasted, and an ancient iron merry-go-round where all the teenagers congregated late into the evening.

linden was an especially great sport about joining the party full of strangers, but violet stuck by her side whenever she wasn't racing around like a madwoman, which i suppose was most of the time. i was especially happy about this picture because violet's expression is almost an exact replica of her uncle mike (linden's youngest) in my very favorite photo from kevin's childhood. in it, kevin is pouting beside his birthday cake while his younger brother takes a lick. i'll have to scan it for the blog one of these days. for anyone who knows kevin, it's a classic.

linden was lucky to witness a big first in violet's life -- the day of the skipped nap! as expected, i was grumpy and apprehensive about my failed plan to get violet to sleep on the drive over, and once violet discovered the magic of the ranch, the nap window was firmly shuttered.

i have to admit, violet was delightful all day despite not napping. she was just so happy to run free, and there were several other little kids afoot. she became absolutely obsessed with "oliver the kitty cat," a sage old guy in the twilight of his life who let her pet to her heart's content. violet chased him all over the place and busted him eating a hunk of roast pork on someone's abandoned plate. it's been a few weeks now, and she's still talking about oliver eating the meat. late afternoon i did manage to nurse violet down for a (cat)nap. she crashed hard for 20 minutes and woke up acting as refreshed as if she'd just logged twelve hours on a westin heavenly bed.

i wish my dad wasn't wearing his sunglasses in this picture so that you could see his eyes. it's kevin's mom and my dad who have the bluest eyes in the respective families, and they must have some pretty mighty genes given the depth of violet's blues.

while we did manage of few of these big outings, the most fun was had just hanging around the house. we danced in the kitchen to violet's favorite song. has this been documented here yet? there are several songs that violet asks to hear, but this is far and away #1. i almost died one day when we sat down to dinner, i got back up to turn on the ipod, and violet wheeled around in her booster seat and declared, "i want rakim!" she now regularly tells us, "don't sweat the technique." i tried to explain that it's only natural to sweat the technique if you're white, but that our family is actually so white that it would be futile to sweat it. after considering, she replied, "i want decemberists." exactly. so much for her street cred.

all in all, we had such a fantastic week, and it was really hard to say goodbye to grandma. violet misses her flip flops

her nightly stories

and most of all her company. after all, it takes being truly comfortable with someone to really let your belly hang out.

toddling

 
summer never lingers like its best afternoons, so we've been trying to squeeze in as many picnics and ice creams as possible. most recently violet ordered her own chocolate chip cone ("white") but rejected it in favor of our friend monica's strawberry chip. thanks for the pics (and the good sharing), mon.

when monica asked violet to pretend to be asleep, here is what happened. love the squint so much.

in other news, violet slipped while running last week and bumped the lower back of her head on the floor, which i didn't think was any news until she began vomiting exorcist style. she was not nearly as traumatized as her parents. an after hours call to the pediatrician resulted in a visit to the ER. diagnosis: mild concussion. she's fine, and whatever dizziness caused her to throw up four separate times was gone by the next day, but this is the kind of thing that rattles whatever fragile confidence in my parenting that i've built up.

in happier news, kevin and i lived another year to celebrate our birthdays. at the drug store, violet picked out kevin's card all by herself -- a diego card intended for little boys -- and by picked out i mean that she plucked it from the shelf, kissed it several times, ran around in circles with it, and refused to relinquish it, even to the cashier. several days later, she was elated to be reunited with it... and once again refused to relinquish it. "my diego card! no dada!"

first field trip

i was so happy to be able to join violet's class for a walking excursion to the butterfly pavilion. there were 12 toddlers, four teachers, five moms, two wagons and a couple of strollers. i wanted so badly to pack capri sun. when i was a kid that's what my mom would pack special for school field trips, and i would be so excited. but i realized that capri sun wouldn't inspire much excitement for violet ("dohn yike juice"). what's the lightweight champ's beverage of choice? "agua!" of course. girl loves water so much that she insisted on riding next to the jug in the wagon.

as i'm sure anyone reading this knows, my sister (auntie courtney) is a first-grade teacher, and she's told me of her secret delight watching volunteer moms try to wrangle the two dozen plus kids that she wrangles solo everyday. i personally will never take this for granted. the toddler world seems especially daunting because of the physicality and hypervigilance needed to prevent all these little cavepeople from beating on each other, and violet is without a doubt one of the biggest challenges, if not the biggest in the dolphin room. by which i mean she's a hair puller, a shover and a biter. thankfully the biting has been pretty limited, and she's taken more than she's dished out, but they still have to shadow her like crazy. "we don't want to restrict her because that wouldn't be fair," her teacher told me earnestly. uh, at home we put her on time out behind the dog gate, i thought. but i appreciate their dedication to protecting her toddler freedoms.

it was a long trek across campus, but the kids obviously loved the novelty of the experience. they got to wander over to splash in fountains and pick flowers from the always impeccable landscaping (privileges that i'm sure aren't extended to actual usc students). upon arrival, violet was the first to march inside like she owned the place. for as clingy as she can still be, she's also incredibly brave.

the dolphin kids made signature t-shirts, bucket hats and visors for the event, and the butterfly pavilion was a perfect choice destination because it's a fairly small enclosed greenhouse-style area. in other words, we didn't lose any kids.

violet has developed a minor fear of bugs, i think due to a few surprises at home, like when a little spider crawled across the bathroom floor as she was getting undressed. she screamed in terror and leaped at me. it was pretty heartbreaking. we play it like "oh it's just a bug." i don't want her to be afraid of them, but by the same token i'm happy she's not bounding out in the yard trying to catch bees in her mouth like our idiot dogs.

inside the pavilion the butterflies are just fluttering around of course, mostly landing on flowers right by the pathway so it's easy for the visitors to observe them. it's actually easiest for children because of the height. violet was a little apprehensive at first, but once she understood that they weren't trying to "get you," she settled in well.

the kids' interest held for close to a half hour before we herded out the exit and cracked open the water jug like it was a kalua pig. it's incredible how long every little thing takes with a group of toddlers, and it makes me wonder if the teachers' patience is innate or cultivated. if it's the latter, i'd like to get in on their trade secrets. i honestly wasn't sure we were ever going to get out of the classroom in the first place since every kid needed shoes and sunscreen, half needed diapers and the potty-training half needed to go to the bathroom, and then you turn around and violet has already ripped off her shoes.

but we did make it! chalk it up to the magic of the outdoors, but no kids had meltdowns and everyone had fun. by the end, of course, all were tuckered, so the walk back was easy, a lot of dazed toddlers asking for lunch.

my feelings about being a "working mom" aren't something i address much here (at least in a direct way) because it's such a complicated conversation that's just so intimidating to write about, but, in a nutshell: i like the sense of security that a paycheck brings; i hate to miss big chunks of violet's days. i have to believe most parents (and people for that matter) feel like this -- like that work-life balance is a dangling carrot. do i "need" to work? that's a question that kevin and i are lucky we're even able to discuss. without a doubt, i feel blessed to have a pleasant 9-5 job that's honest work, with enough flexibility for me to do things like go on violet's field trips with her, and i feel even more blessed that she has such loving caregivers, who are a huge part of her life. sure, there will always be those nagging doubts, like would she have a better shot at the pulitzer if i were to stay at home? but i don't doubt that these women love her, and whoever she ends up being, their fingerprints will be all over it. and i mean, she may be a thug, but she's a happy thug.

anniversary week

kevin and i celebrated our five-year anniversary on sunday, but we exploited the occasion all week long. kevin was on hiatus, and i escaped jury service and took a couple of days off work. the week ended up feeling like an impromptu vacation -- almost as awesome as an impromptu run through the sprinklers while walking home from the neighborhood pizza joint.

violet is becoming a real chatterbox lately. i know she's mostly parroting, but it's remarkable how often she manages to drum up a (mostly) grammatically correct sentence, usually involving her school buddies and/or characters from the dora-diego posse. the above photo should be captioned "diego run in sprinklers and get his jeans wet too!" enunciation is still a hurdle (no one but kevin or i would be able to translate that last sentence) but improves in sudden spurts. "teacher z" is now "teacher rosina" and "teacher zaa" is now "teacher roxana." this happened last week, and both teachers (her two primary caregivers) were giddy that violet had figured out how to say their names properly. rosina actually called me at work to let me know.

this morning i caught violet singing to herself for the first time while on the drive to school. row row row your boat. "life ees deeee!"

another first was the bounce house. there's one at the sunday farmer's market, and violet has jumped her little heart out three weekends in a row. she gets scared when big kids go in, but we get there early enough (when the balloon is still being inflated) that it's usually just toddlers at that point. god, remember the joy?

i also took violet to her first sit-down live performance at the ford ampitheatre, at the fantastic suggestion of our friend marah who works there. the show was gaelic music and dancing, part of a summer event series designed for kids and families. making sure to show proper respect for her heritage, violet was well behaved for the first ten minutes. in fact, i dare say she was riveted for the first song and the first step-dancing. but soon enough, she started to flail about and shout intermittently. i searched her romper for the hidden whiskey flask and, coming up empty, moved into emergency peanut butter sandwich mode. after that, we abandoned our seats... and discovered all the other toddlers in attendance, running around the corridors. all in all, i'd call the outing a success, but it's going to be a couple more years before i let nana and auntie courtney live out their life's dream of taking her to see the nutcracker.

in other festivities, we hit up the neighborhood july 4th parade, which featured two high school marching bands and dozens of kids riding decorated bikes, trikes and wagons. violet and her buddy jack were mesmerized by the fanfare, and their parents were mesmerized by the sight of pajama-clad ed asner, watching the low-budget production from his front yard. the procession ended at a park, and we made the mistake of letting violet and jack head straight for the playground while the veteran parents made a beeline for the free corn dogs and lemonade. by the time we got to the food stands, there was only watermelon left. "vivi dohn yike wah-meh." right.

we also took violet to universal citywalk, thinking perhaps she could stay up for fireworks. by early evening, however, the loopiness set in. it was also surprisingly chilly, for which we were unprepared, and violet insisted on wearing kevin's shirt, which made her look like the world's tiniest ph.d. graduate. if you ask her where she goes to school, she now replies, "USC!" (dada just died a little on the inside.)

luckily, kevin had recorded an east coast feed of the washington d.c. fireworks, so back at home, we plopped violet in front of the tv and waited in anticipation of her amazement at the spectacle. here's how the conversation went:

kevin: do you see the fireworks, violet? boom!
violet: don't pick your nose, dora!
stacey: look at the red firework violet! isn't it pretty?
violet: don't pick your nose, boots! ees yucky! eck!
kevin: violet, look at all the colors. wow!
violet: don't pick your nose, dora! ees yucky! eck! ECK!!!

and off to bed she went.

on thursday and friday, kevin and i showcased our loving parenting by dropping off violet at daycare and hitting the town. we saw the amazing spider-man in 3D at the cinerama dome. we had oysters and cocktails at gjelina and the hungry cat. we popped in for the haute couture of snickers bars at tavern on thursday and still managed to pick up violet early on friday to go for yet more ice cream. and as if we aren't spoiled rotten enough, nana came up a night to babysit so that we could go out to dinner at the saddle peak lodge. we left with this year's vacation fund deposited in our bellies.