the belated latest

violet turned 3! my baby! i should catch up first, but birthday post forthcoming.

our day-to-day schedule is tight right now. i don't mean it as a complaint, though i do of course wish i had more time to tend this little blog. most of all i wish kevin had more time to sleep. his work is all consuming right now, and while that's awesome for all of the reasons you can guess, it's a bummer when he misses violet's bedtime. as for me and violet, our weekdays typically look like this:

7:15am, wake up

7:45am, leave the house (looking like i stepped out of a maybelline ad, obviously)

8:30am, daycare arrival

8:45am, daycare bye bye

9:00am, i'm at my desk

5:00pm, i leave my desk

5:15pm, daycare reunion

5:45pm, we finally drive out of parking lot

6:30pm, sprint into the house to let poor mutts out

7:30pm, dinner

9:00pm, i shower while violet either joins me, takes her own bath, or runs around naked

9:30pm, pjs and stories

10:00pm, lights out

10:15pm, i sneak out of violet's room when she's finally asleep

at this point i used to join kevin for our precious couch time, but nowadays he's usually not home yet, so i do the chores that he used to be doing while i was rocking violet down -- food prep, dishes, laundry, making peanut butter kongs for our neglected/spoiled dogs, retrieving plastic tiaras lined up on "the balcony" (aka the cobweb-covered treadmill in the garage). i'm usually finishing up in the kitchen as the dogs skitter to the front door when kevin's car approaches from a half mile away. bills and bureaucracy have thus bled into my desk downtime, and i mean, is the government shutting down or something? i'll have to find out when kevin tells me his favorite jokes from the day. sadly i'm the worst audience for these since i don't get the topical references. or maybe i'm the best audience? in sharp contrast, kevin consumes far, far too much news. he's always sending me links to some crazy shit about a kid who got the bubonic plague from an elmo toothbrush or something, and i'm like, i don't have time for this crap! resend that link to the dog playing in a pile of leaves! reading about syria makes me feel dumb, and that dog has something important to teach me about life!

violet will still nap for three hours at school (i know!) though on the weekends she'll only nap a little over an hour. lately she loves to hike up her big girl britches and declare she doesn't want to nap, but she crashes out eventually. when she does take a shorter nap at school, she goes to bed earlier, which of course is a mixed bag because then it means we have less playtime but maybe i'm not washing tupperware at 11pm?

happily the grind grinds to a halt on weekends, and while i'm about to post a bunch of pictures that make it look like we've been busy on the weekends too, we haven't really. we did enjoy my parents' anniversary party followed by violet's birthday party, but most weekends we just kind of play by ear. one weekend we made it to the aquarium of the pacific in long beach, and while violet was into it

her enthusiasm couldn't possibly have beaten mine. i haven't been to an aquarium since i was a kid (i know, i know, i didn't smoke enough weed in college) and OMG have you been to an aquarium since you were a kid?? we watched the seal and sea lion show, got "hugs" from the sea anemone, and narrowly stopped violet from leaping into the shark reef. apologies again for my lousy photography skills, but did you know that at an aquarium there are penguins a few inches from your fingertips?!

and how could i have forgotten about otters?? the only cuteness that can rival a good kevin-violet pic

is an otter. i could watch otters all day.

on the topic of cuteness rivalry OMG

we spent a swim afternoon at our old roommate bianca's place. her doggie, mclovin', used to sleep with me and kevin until 4am when bink would get home from work, at which point he'd shotgun down the hall to be with her. she also has two chihuahuas, cashew and chestnut, and we spent most of the visit watching violet's giggle fest as she snuggled in their doggie bed. now whenever she sees a chihuahua, she asks, "is it chestnut?" kevin brought home a flyer for some glorious $1.5 million home for sale in our neighborhood, and violet beamed: "look! it's bianca's house!" of course i relayed this story to a very pleased bianca.

we also made it out to the fair. that petting zoo is out of control. as kevin understated, "these guys are a little aggressive." no matter. as long as it's not a chicken (we exited the farmers market petting zoo early this past sunday due to "too many chickens"), violet is all about it.

the fair had this rad play experience for kids where they harvest produce, collect eggs from chicken coops, milk cows, sell their goods and take their (play) money to the grocery store to buy processed foods (seriously!) like animal crackers and top ramen.

we posed next to the feed sign because my mom's best friend's family is, in fact, these kruses.

in other weekend fun, here is violet with her best friend, hana, at their very first play date outside of school.

kevin heard there had been a slip n' slide involved, and the next day he sent me an article about how many kids die of the bubonic plague on trampolines every year or something like that.

i also keep meaning to mention that violet's absolute favorite song right now is the jackson 5's ABC, and after i showed her a clip of their ed sullivan show performance, she initiated michael, jermaine, tito, marlon and jackie into her posse of imaginary playmates. as you would expect, it's comedy gold. of course it can be a little disconcerting when michael joins her for bath time, and also every night when we "pajama race!" against jermaine, who always, at the very last moment, fumbles his bottoms while violet pulls up hers and throws her arms over her head in victory. you can't make this shit up. my mom was babysitting recently and enjoyed playing play doh with max, ruby and tito's cat. i wouldn't have pegged tito for a cat person. at least i'm assured that violet has a feminist streak because she regularly asks, "why were janet and latoya not in the band?"

leapfrogging the forthcoming birthday post (does it count as postmodern if it's just lazy?) here is violet this morning, delighted by the porch she decorated last night with trader joe's pumpkins.

whenever anyone asks what she's going to be for halloween, she insists she's going to be a jaguar again. thankfully last year's costume still fits. she pulled it out of the dress-up bin last night while we were playing trick-or-treating, a game that involves traipsing around the backyard in the dark with nothing but a flashlight to help us avoid the dog poop.

v: we need to get your costume out of the closet, mama.
me: what am i going to be?
v: a tuna fish.
me: what's daddy going to be?
v: a pig.
me: should we dress up the dogs too?
v: yes. rudy will be a sea director.
me: a sea director? what's that?
v: like sebastian the crab.
me: and what's petey going to be?
v: a sea director too.

maybe kierkegaard knows?

don't get me wrong, i love how inquisitive violet has become, but some days i think the "why?" stage is going drive me into existential crisis. kevin and i do our best to answer all of her questions, but when she's trying to whittle down human behavior to its essence -- why does that neighbor not pick up his doggy's poo poo? -- i sometimes find myself wanting to curl into a ball and cry, "i don't know! life is cruel and people are assholes!"

when a bicyclist blithely pedaled through a red light and i almost killed her:

v: why did you slam the brakes, mama?

me: so i wouldn't hit that girl on the bike. it wasn't her turn to go.

v: why wasn't it her turn?
me: she had the red light. we had the green light.
v: why did she go?

me: she must have forgotten the rules.

v: why did she forget the rules?

me: we all forget things sometimes. do you forget things sometimes?

v: no. (true)

violet is particularly obsessed with why people are rude or mean, and she loves to drum up old injustices. months ago some teenagers at the park were having a water fight and got the bucket swings so muddy that i wouldn't let violet swing. now, out of nowhere, she'll ask me, "why did the big kids get mud on the little kid swings?" the first time, when the incident was in progress, i answered loudly enough for the big kids to hear me, "i guess they were just being rude." (OMFG i'm that mom now. WHY???) violet is especially put out that the siamese cats in lady and the tramp are mean to lady.

last night rudy (our jack russell terrier mix) toyed with a moth as it fluttered to its demise. chasing a ball is beneath him, but catching a moth, and then nipping little bits off its wings as it dies a slow death, is probably his favorite thing in life. "why does rudy like to kill bugs?" violet asks. when i don't like where the course of one of her interrogations is leading, i usually attempt to distract her. it's tempting to just shout "goddamnit!" because that's a guaranteed off-ramp into her very favorite line of questioning: "why do grown-ups sometimes say goddamnit?" i can almost always turn a conversation about frustration into one with donald duck. but then, it's not like she forgets anything. my boss brought her some adorable molded chocolate animals from switzerland in january. last week, i asked violet if she wanted to come to a party at my office, and she replied, "i want to come to the party and i want your boss to give me some more chocolate truffles."

on the subject of chocolate

she woke up the other morning and declared, "if i drink all my hot cocoa it will make my boobs strong and i will grow nursies!" and if you're not awestruck enough that she's a genius who just invented chocolate milk lactation, the other day at peet's she declared, "when i'm a grown-up i want to mix coffee in my cocoa!" yeah, she just invented the mocha, legit. fingers crossed that she lands on an idea i can trademark!

the reason i have these quotes handy is because i've been trying to type my favorites into my phone so i don't forget them. her first declarations of the day are still the best. a recent morning:

v: it never rains in los angeles.
me: well, not too often, but it does sometimes.
v: it never rains hot dogs in los angeles.
me: oh! that's true. it never rains hot dogs here.
v: i don't like hot dogs with jam inside.
me: do you mean ketchup?
v: no. i like to dip hot dogs in ketchup. (false)

speaking of hot dogs, she also loves to work "penis" into any conversation. this is pretty much always funny to me (though i try not to laugh out loud because i'm a good parent like that), but i don't think kevin shares my amusement. luckily not too many "why" questions on that front yet, although she was disappointed at a recent princess party

that her goodie bag had a tutu and tiara while the boys got light sabers. in heavy rotation: "why did only the boys get swords?" while there were many butterfly and heart options available at the art table, here's the photo frame she decorated:

she also sat at the boys table for pizza, and when nana asked what she wanted for her own birthday, she looked up and replied, very matter of fact, "dump trucks." but before i project my tomboy leanings onto her, i should add that she demanded to put on four skirts for our backyard cookout.

her biggest obsession remains max & ruby. she plays with the entire town of characters constantly, and when the show is on, she doesn't blink, literally. i don't know if you can see it, but tears are streaming down her face as she watches.

we're also playing a lot of hide and go seek lately. when she's the seeker, she dictates where you have to hide, but she gets to hide wherever she wants.

typically to avoid potty accidents (sorry for the ball pit = urine transition but i'm running out of time), we hound her about whether or not she needs to go to the bathroom, but lately she's been running in there and just going on her own, which needless to say is freaking great. this weekend she peered into the bowl to observe her poop, a pebbly one, and exclaimed with delight: "it's a family of poo poo! the toilet is their home!"

she is so much fun. smelling roses:

a big trip

after three years of assuring kevin's family that we'd see them soon, we finally got brave enough to make the trip to washington dc. i wish i could be less balloons and lollipops about it for sheer sake of narrative interest, but man, we had a great time. the actual to and fro was awful, and i'll get to that, but it was pure joy watching violet have such a ball with the family she had mostly known through photos.

so here she is with airplane distractor #1: fruit and cheese box. there's never a happier "cheese!" than one with an actual mouthful of cheese.

but let me rewind for a sec to say that we nearly missed our outbound flight. as usual, kevin's wildly delusional idea that we needed to leave the house before 5:30am for our 8:40am flight turned out to be something less than delusional -- like, shall we say, accurate? i think all these years of booking complicated trips for my jet-setting boss (who can arrive at the airport ten minutes before a flight, wiggle her nose, and appear in seat 2b) has warped my perception of what it's like for us plebes. so here we are, in the middle of the swarm, clearly not going to make our flight, and this brash old dude sees kevin sweating and me crying and violet screaming about her new shoe that's fallen off who knows where, and this man rallies the crowd, who may or may not have "hear hear-d" as he grandly swung open the rope and let us cut. and maybe i'm tall-telling it a little, but truly, most of the people in that line were kind, kinder people than me, and it made me want to be kinder too.

the rest of the outbound travel was uneventful. violet had her antsy moments but was mostly well behaved on the flights. we had a stockpile of new toys and books she'd never seen before, along with lots of new max & ruby and mickey mouse clubhouse episodes loaded on the kindle, and of course the tray table was a big hit. (on the topic of toddler travel tips, let me put in a special plug for the wikki stix book. i was most worried about takeoff of the second leg of our way home because it was so late and i knew she'd be tired, and because it's a good half-hour stretch without electronic entertainment options. the wikki stix, which she had never seen before, were perfect.) the biggest hit, however, had to have been the moving walkways during our layover in minneapolis. she ran and ran and ran! or, as she would say, yan and yan and yan!

upon arrival at dulles came the long awaited cute meet with her only girl cousin (of the kid cousins), reese, age 7. i can't overstate the adorbs that was them hanging out all week.

it didn't occur to me until this trip that violet doesn't really spend any time with older kids. while her willingness to play without me or kevin actually there in the room (either as participant or audience) continues to grow exponentially, i was pretty amazed at how she would just disappear with reese for hours. they (illicitly) jumped on the blow-up mattress downstairs while kevin's sister and i had coffee talk. they played wilson the sea monster (/labradoodle) on their ship (/couch) for ages. we didn't make any concerted effort to adjust violet to eastern time, and she was usually ready for bed between 10:30 and 11pm, which meant a happy reese got to stay up late. this was especially awesome on july 4th, when uncle lonn set off a bunch of fireworks on the golf course that is essentially their backyard. violet's "i don't yike fireworks" quickly turned to "i yike fireworks a yittle bit" to "more fireworks, unkuh yonn."

throwing chronology to the wind (because let's face it, if i don't pound out this post, it's never going to happen, and i want it on record for me to get misty over in my empty nest), july 4th was just the kind of summer's day i would dream about while pregnant -- loved ones gathered and time slowed down. uncle dan and aunt elizabeth belong to the army navy country club and generously hosted everyone for a day of swimming pools, carnival games, bounce house, bbq, giant ice cream sammies

and everything else you'd imagine was there. i was watching dozens of sticky-faced kids running wild around the perfectly manicured tennis courts before the staff finally had to call disperse, and i was just thinking YES. THIS. which is silly, i realize, because it's an easy day for anyone to enjoy, whether they have a kid in the throng or not, and i'm sure there were plenty of people happy they weren't in my shoes when i was sprinting across three tennis courts after our lunatic child as she made a break for the furthest exit. i did catch her, but i think i've lost the point i was trying to make. something about how a day like that is the same as it's always been, really, but i do so enjoy watching violet in the throng, finding her place in the world, and in her family.

she was thrilled to be reunited with grandma linden

and it was her first time meeting grandpa chick

her first time meeting cousin declan, age 5

and her first time meeting cousin noah, age 1.

among other firsts was attending her first play, a staged production of dr. seuss's cat and the hat, at a really cool little place called the adventure theater. i was impressed by how many kids stayed captivated for the 45 minutes.

violet was nervous yet excited to meet sally afterwards

but she was too shy to go up to the boy. while it continues to blow my mind that she's essentially blushing and crushing on boys at age 2, i do hope that this particular shyness will carry on into her teen years.

we made it downtown a couple of days, once to the national building museum, the brilliant recommendation of my friend taryn, who i was very excited to catch up with

and who is adorably pregnant here with her third son. taryn even got us special tickets to the "building zone" playroom, which violet enjoyed, as she did a room filled with foam things

a room of miniatures, the cafe, and perhaps most of all, the lobby.

another day we ventured to the natural history museum, where reese and violet's favorite attraction was the glass elevator. i should open my own play place that's just like a giant lobby connected to service elevators filled with tupperware. dinosaur bones? they're pretty cool. but an abandoned warehouse? magic!

also magic? the tot park -- just a regular little park, but filled with abandoned toys. it's tucked between beautiful residential buildings in old town, and perfect for toddlers with its enclosed perimeter. violet was having her grumpiest day, by far, and was crying that she didn't want to go to the park, until she got there, and then she didn't want to leave.

my real objective in taking her to old town was getting ice cream around the corner, and i wasn't going to let a little crankiness deter me. there are actually two parlors directly across the street from one another, and we made sure to patronize both on different days. at pop's, violet selected a flavor called "the cavity" which was vanilla with butterfingers, m&ms and snickers. it ruled. i had been hoping for a third trip to my favorite soft-serve shack in the world, hovermale's, but violet protested, "i want ice keem where we sit inside. i don't want a shack!" how did she get so highfalutin? (side anecdote: we were picking up dessert to bring to a party the other day, and violet looked at the bakery's four flavors of macarons and declared, "they don't have as many colors as bottega louie." the cashier smirked at me. i smirked at myself.) still, violet certainly didn't reject the hovermale's once her cone was in hand, day one or day two!

so i got my wish, and kevin got his: blue crabs at the quarterdeck. favorite pic of the trip:

violet loved cracking the crabs with her mallet

but not as much as she loved declan. ha!

sorting through our vacation photos and recalling all of the incredible hospitality has put me in too good a mood to want to recount much of the drama of our return flights home. there were thunderstorms, and we missed our connection in minneapolis. we thought we'd be stuck there, and that kevin would miss his first day of work, but we ended up rebooked on the last flight out, which was delayed and delayed and delayed again. luckily the minneapolis airport is rad

and wine, you know, exists. we got back to los angeles after midnight, and kevin got up in the morning and wrote jokes. paid jokes! we even found a vacation pic with all three of us in the same frame. all unpaid jokes aside, i'm counting blessings.

odds and ends

i love that this resembles a proper vacation photo with proud poser aside a national landmark, but i love even more that it's just violet trespassing on a neighbor's property. this should be a national landmark though, shouldn't it? have you seen rocky & bullwinkle lawn ornaments anywhere else?

so i'm very excited to post about our first big trip with violet to visit kevin's family back east, but i have a mass of photos to sort through first. in the meantime here are a few keepers from just before the trip.

we spent father's day with our fingers crossed and it paid off because kevin got hired on a new job the next week. yay dada! go werk! needless to say we are all very happy and relieved and proud. last week was his first at the new show, and he has some great stories already. he'll have to fill you in.

i spent the end of last week dealing with a mastitis infection. yes, i'm afraid you read that right: mastitis on the eve of my child's third birthday. before anyone die-hippie-scums me, i should say that i had violet down to two minutes of nursing at bedtime and a few minutes upon wake-up, but now i've needed her assistance while healing, and coupled with me using nursing as a sleep crutch on our trip, this is definitely a setback in terms of the gentle weaning game plan. i've accumulated a wealth of fresh knowledge about mastitis treatment, however, since i'm (still in the middle of) attempting to do it without antibiotics, so consult me if ever you get it. isn't it a shame that all of this hard won knowledge is rendered useless so quickly? it's like i'm desperate for an outlet to share my anecdotal evidence about clearing blocked ducts in the executive bathroom sink! the people must know!

i'm sorry, i really didn't mean for my father's day reminisce and job update to devolve into navel gazing. nipple gazing. god, you know i couldn't let that one go by.

please note the art of this visually associative transition. here's violet swinging from the rings by the pier. she is really strong and brave. she can also do impressive somersaults and keeps trying to imitate the cartwheel i turned on the grass the other day. cartwheel, singular.

i also really enjoy this random shot of darcy tolerating toddler affection.

not every dog can love the toddler for hours on end.

at long last, here's a little sampling of violet's donald duck impression. she does this voice ALL THE TIME, and i see a lot of furrowed brows of passersby wondering about our little demon child. you have to admit, it's a good impression right? edited to add: the video runs long because i wanted you to hear the interlude where she quietly hums the hot dog song.