luau, mraow!

did you know that wednesday was national luau day? (source: violet's school activity calendar.) she woke up and declared, "mom! i want to bring my hula hoop to school because we're doing the hula dance!"

her brain still fires on all cylinders first thing in the morning. she immediately knows what day it is. we have kept up our bottega louie tradition for "special breakfast" when it's (cold, lumpy) oatmeal day at school, and she gets a plain beignet plus one macaron (occasionally two) to save for an after-school snack. this past tuesday morning she opened her eyes and said, "i want two cookies today." it amazes me every time she does it. sometimes she wakes up and "asks" in eyelash-batting tone, "is it the weekend?" i wrinkle my nose, and she tries, "are you picking me up early today?" she never wants to go to school. i know she's happy there, and she has reported "great" days often. it's still the most awful part of life now though, the crying about not wanting to go, the kissing hand and "twelve hugs" and brave little face as she waves from the window.

they're about to start the "summer blast" program with all kinds of activities, and i've really begun to notice that she's retaining things she learns at school. we were at the park playing on that spinning post thing, and she was leaping off, swimming across "the ocean" and climbing ashore on "islands" made of cracked playground flooring. the islands: goofy island, pluto island and donald island. the oceans: pacific, atlantic, indian, southern and arctic. what? she knows them all! i couldn't have drummed up southern ocean to save my life.

in other news, she is still loving princess ballet and has just started swimming lessons in private 20-minute sessions once a week. we'll see if she gets anything out it. mimi the instructor did insist that she duck underwater on lesson #2, and violet didn't cry, so that seems promising. i don't have any swim pics yet, but i did get to sit in the dance room for "parent observation day" so finally got a couple of shots:

later this same weekend we hit up "the biggest little fair in the valley." violet really wanted to play the roulette game where you bet on one of maybe a dozen colors. she picked black and lost. she wanted to play again, so kevin let her. she chose black again and won! i couldn't believe it, and kevin was quite proud that she stuck with the same color, as if she instinctively knew it would improve her odds. she picked out a beanie cat named pounce for her prize

and has been introducing him to people and explaining, "always bet on black." she was begging to do this rickety busy bees ride

and you can see pounce tucked under her arm. then of course:

this iphoto sure has a lot of pictures with junk food. i swear i cook real food during the week. there just aren't as many delighted smiles to be documented in front of a plate with salmon and asparagus. ornate $5 cookies on the other hand? i mean, come on with this cuteness!

let's back up to easter really quick, since my time never seems to align with my inclination when it comes to updating this blog. it was another great year at nana and poppy's house with the grauers, gilbertsons, and other related misfits, and violet was again the sole egg hunter. she didn't have any complaints. eggs filled with chocolate and cash! can we hook up a grown-ups hunt next year?

i also had a really wonderful mother's day weekend. kevin and violet hung out while i went to a hair appointment, and for family dinner we grilled shrimp and corn, with chocolate-covered strawberries from grandma linden for dessert. midweek, violet's school held a high tea for the moms (soy nut butter & jelly sandwiches and iced tea that i spilled on my silk dress, probably karmic retribution for that milkshake i dumped on my mom one year at the corvette diner). violet's class performed "you are my sunshine" and she gave me a jewelry box that she'd decorated along with this card:

i don't know if i'll ever stop feeling like i'm 25 on the inside (am i alone in this?), but opening the card was one of those "holy shit, i'm a mom" moments. i wonder if i'll ever stop having those. maybe if it ever becomes "holy shit, i'm a grandma"? violet and i also met nana and auntie for a girls day at disneyland, including a brunch of mickey mouse pancakes at the river belle terrace. i keep thinking disneyland is going to get old for me, but apparently it's another area of stunted growth in my psyche. we had so much fun.

just last post i was talking about how violet's interest in frozen was nonexistent, but in typical preschooler fashion, she went from zero to OBSESSED. she still won't watch the movie ("too scary"), but as you see, auntie bought her the big golden book. she looked at it quietly for a good half hour (while we waited in line to get out of the disneyland parking lot, the only non-fun part), and when i later read it to her, her body started quaking right before the page where hans brandishes his sword. she can now be caught several times a day "practicing elsa's power" and singing (or screaming while running in circles and doing leaps) "let it go" as you'll see in the following video (though i do have a long version of the screaming/leaping as well).



will elsa & anna finally overtake max & ruby? perhaps, though it doesn't look likely.

little psychosis researcher

last night, as violet was holding an "ice pack" to my "hurt" head:

v: i LOVE to heal heads.
me: are you going to be a doctor when you grow up?
v: no, a scientist! a scientist who helps doctors make heads feel better.
me: i think that's a great idea.
v: and i'm going to tell everyone that werewolves don't exist!

we drove past some graffiti art that depicted a werewolf, and now she's constantly asking me, "how do we know WE'RE not werewolves?" to which i counter, "has your skin ever grown fur? have your nails ever turned to claws? have your teeth ever turned to fangs?" she often tugs on kevin's beard and tells him to shave, but the other night she was intently studying his every follicle. he didn't know about the werewolf obsession yet, and when i told him, he said, "so that's why she kept looking at my fingernails!" she would love it if he were a werewolf. while she talks a big game of "they don't exist," she also keeps talking herself out of it: "there are DEFINITELY no werewolves in los angeles, and DEFINITELY no werewolves in china, but they might live in a different place."

i feel kind of bad that "china" has become the token place of "other" for her. i suppose it started because the plane in knuffle bunny free takes knuffle bunny to china (OMG!), which i explained at the time as "the other side of the earth." ever since our first trip to the griffith observatory

she wants to know what people in china are doing at any given time. last night she interrupted my bedtime lullaby -- which, i'll note for posterity, alternates between elizabeth mitchell's "froggy went a courtin'" and the series of "animal songs" from if you were my bunny -- and asked what people in china were doing while we were sleeping. she really loved the day/night display, and also the one about galaxies.

she repeatedly asked me to read the text about how this meteorite was found in the desert

and she equally loved "blasting off" down the hallway into large groups of tourists.

she is very into the sciency series of dr. seuss books, and she totes home on beyond bugs from school about once a week, so we got there's no place like space from the observatory gift shop, and man, that purchase was gold. right away she memorized the planets but prefers to gleefully recite the book's acronym: "mallory valerie emily mickels just saved up nine-hundred ninety-nine nickels!" violet thinks mallory is going to buy an orange dress or a dog. mallory has good taste.

our dogs were practically biting off violet's fingers as she fed them her dinner scraps last night, and she couldn't stop giggling. same reaction when we fed the horses at the gentle barn a few weeks ago.

it was her first time with the big wiggly lips snatching carrots from her palm, and she was almost as delighted as i was. it's hard to resist the longing for her to love the same things i love. i told her all about how i took horseback riding lessons as a kid, how i would get to the barn an hour early so that i could brush the horses and pick rocks out of their hooves. "do you want to ride horses when you get bigger?" i asked, cringing at the implicit "of course you do" in my voice. i need to work on my poker tone.

at least i managed a straight face when i gave her a selection of weekend classes to choose from and she chose dance. nana and auntie have been rejoicing, but i can't shake the image of olive hoover sucking in her stomach backstage at the little miss sunshine pageant. OMG STACEY! i can't help it. so we're over a month into "princess ballet" and what can i say? it's pretty damn cute how much she likes it. if it wasn't right on the cusp of nap time, i'd like it a lot better, but she turns on a dime after class -- it's a lot of excitement at a time when she's used to a calm down routine -- and has had more than one meltdown on the way home. she screams at me to turn the car around so we can go back to the dance studio and right one of my wrongs, i.e. not letting her roll around on the ground, or opening the ziploc of cheddar bunnies myself. so far she has refused every request to smile for the camera in her tutu and tights, so here she is at the dance student appreciation party, hula-hooping to "let it go."

literally every other person there knew the words but us. she's a princess ballerina who prefers ice-age beasts over frozen.

and here she is on st. patrick's day:

"i painted a mess." i couldn't be prouder.

new year, new shades

i took this picture and thought hmm, this looks familiar. sure enough, last year's new year's post started off like this. well, they say preschoolers like routine, right? the crumbs present last year were also still with us.

i spent the week before chinese new year in a cleaning/purging frenzy, to welcome my good luck since it's my year -- year of the horse! as you may remember, violet was born in the year of the tiger (we called her "tigs" for a long time as a baby), and kevin is also a tiger, so i let them put their attack instincts to good use on the carseat.

backing up to gregorian new year's eve, we hunkered down in the fort that violet got for christmas and watched the new york ball drop at 9pm.

violet was really excited to "stay up until midnight!" and enthusiastically participated in the countdown and cheering and kissing and toasting. she pretended to participate in the napping the next day.

the cheerful chirp of "i'm all done with my nap!" is a heart sinker in our house lately because she only announces it when hasn't actually napped. while she can skip a nap and not necessarily have an evening meltdown (which would have been guaranteed even a few months ago), we end up pretty housebound since we don't want to take her anywhere when she's got the loops. speaking of loops

she wanted me to take her picture after she rode her first roller coaster (toontown). we scored the front seat and she was so cute, play-screaming and giggling the whole time. she was very proud of herself.

other daredevil feats include the my gym zip line

and 'cootering down the driveway.

she pretty much doesn't want to scooter anywhere else now. she just loves going down the driveway over and over again. there are a couple of boys her age in the neighborhood with the same scooter, and they fly down the windy paths at the park. she doesn't want anything to do with that. i don't actually think she's afraid; i think she knows she can't do it (yet) and doesn't want to try/fail. i see the seeds of perfectionism sprouting already. we talk a lot about trying/practicing, but wow is it ever difficult to be encouraging without being pushy or a pushover. wax on, wax off, right?

one thing we never have to encourage is art. violet LOVES art all on her own. they set up play stations at school (reading, blocks, beading, dress up), and her teachers tell me that when she is given a choice, violet always chooses painting. her other favorite is scissors and glue. here she is last night at 9:15pm. "just one more page!"

her favorite things to draw (and make me draw) are max and ruby scenes, like this depiction of "ruby telling max don't hit the groundhog with a bat!" (!!!)

i love the dialogue bubbles. i took that picture awhile ago, and she has now mastered adding bunny ears.

violet and i were home with the charming norovirus for an entire week, and we dragged ourselves through michael's arts and crafts a few times for project supplies. i didn't get a pic of the bird house she painted, but here's "a family of bears"

and here's the valentine's card that she made for kevin:

i asked her if she wanted me to cut out a big heart, and she said, "i think daddy would like a stegosaurus." as you can see, it's on his bulletin board at work. she also made a card of "daddy's work" and it's all of these people with straight lines and frowns for mouths, more downtrodden than the staff of office space. when you unfold the paper, inside she's drawn a big rectangle with another straight-mouthed man within: "it's the TV show!" she's never seen the show, and i realized she thinks daddy is actually on TV on "his show" as we call it at home -- such a cute presumption, but also neat in its perceptiveness. a woman watching her at the grocery store the other day said, "she's kind of an old soul, isn't she?" if you're reading this, you know her -- is she? "she's sensitive," i said.

if you ask her how old she is, she'll tell you she's "a teenager." she loves to sit in my driver's seat and "drive us to disneyland to ride on splash mountain!" she's a teenager so she can drive and exceed the height requirement, see? ha! that's one i've picked up from her. it's like a country bumpkin "now see?" that i think she got from the berenstain bears, her favorite show right now. we play berenstain bears every day. i talk more in mama bear's voice than i do in my own, not even joking. for some reason my "mama bear" comes out as a butchered and breathy british accent. i cringe hearing myself talk. my "donald duck" is worse than ever, half batman, half satan. as violet and i danced and sang the alternating parts of "i just can't wait to be king," it occurred to me that my "zazu" would get my ass kicked in jamaica.

like a dwindling SNL sketch with no way out, i need to wrap this up, so here's violet with a pastry and "the jackson 5."

i'm thinking right now in my brain

that's one of violet's favorite qualifiers lately. "i'm thinking right now in my brain about how all the money in my piggy bank is going to buy a robot dinosaur." "i'm thinking right now in my brain about how i'm going to watch doc mcstuffins before dinner aaand max and ruby after dinner." "i'm thinking right now in my brain about how i want a chocolate cow tonight at bedtime." my boss brought home more molded chocolate animals from switzerland for her, and while i'd like to say they're in her brain more than they're in her tummy, the box is in fact almost empty.

her brain, on the other hand, is so full right now. i see the look on her face all the time -- processing, processing -- and then usually follows an incredible question about the world that i'm ill-equipped to answer. staring at an exhibit at the griffith observatory: mama, why don't we feel the earth spinning? after listening to me tell the cautionary tale of how my late nana used to whack her nana on the head with a hairbrush when she wiggled too much: mama, i don't want to die and be in a grave and why do people have to go live in the clouds? upon hearing me mutter damn as i whack a pomegranate and splatter juice all over my work shirt: mama, why does daddy say goddamnit?  eternal questions, every one.

i get overwhelmed too, trying to commit these moments to memory, failing, and then berating myself about why i couldn't buckle down for ten minutes to type, at the very least, into the drafts folder. i'm sorry i'm so terrible at keeping up this blog. where were we?

at the grove you take a number if you want to see santa, and on the weekend that means you'd better have four hours of shopping to do. we did not, so we pretended that frosty could say hi to santa for us

and then on a tuesday morning i made sure we were first in line at 9am on my way to work (and "mismatched sock day" at school). "he's just parking his sleigh," the elf assured us when santa was twenty minutes late.

we revisited the methodist church tree lot, and violet ran around like a crazy person again. check us out with a volvo and a tree on top of it, i love it SO MUCH.

we got down to san diego a couple of days earlier than predicted, so violet got to bake a second round of sugar cookies with nana.

some of my favorites include "snowman murder"

"the gingerdead man says run, run, as fast as you can... no seriously, run"

and "i told you to run, teddy bear."

after a way too late but very lovely dinner out, violet, looking drunker than the rest of us actually were, plated up her offerings for the big man

and was of course delighted to find nothing but crumbs left in the morning. christmas morning, as i'm sure i said last year, gets more fun every year. look at this face:

she had asked santa for exactly three things, all of which she came up with on her own. a baby zebra

the pigeon wants a hot dog book

and a 'cooter.

it was such a great, great day, so of course i immediately started lamenting that one of the magical "santa years" is over and we only have a precious few left waaaah! tune in next week for my new year's recap, working title "35 down, tick tock." i'm thinking right now in my brain, how do you all put up with me? eternal question.