isn't it to the victor belong the spoils?

it may have been a fluke, but violet slept through the night on monday. down a little after 9pm, dream feed at 11:30pm, and up around 6:15am. i'm sure this documentation is a jinx.

i was so worried every little noise meant she was hungry that i didn't sleep past 3:45am, around when she'd usually eat. i basically stared at her with the nightlight the entire time while she kicked around but stayed asleep... and between the missed feed and squishing my engorged boob while lying on my side, i now have mastitis! that's a breast infection for those who don't know (and probably would have liked to keep it that way). i'd been so elated about violet's sleep that i didn't think much about how unusually cold i was in the morning, even for me, and i attributed my bad hangover feelings to the less than four hours of sleep. after a somewhat stressful visit to my office to deliver christmas gifts, i got home feeling flushed and decided to take my temp, which clocked in at 101.5. long story short, my ob sent antibiotics to my pharmacy, and the ass-kicking fluishness has really subsided. unfortunately i don't think i've yet managed to clear the plugged duct (or ducts - this boob hurts!) that brought on the infection, despite efforts including a hot compress of microwaved diaper (yes, water-soaked), and so far as i can tell, the worst that can happen is my boob will turn black and fall off. thanks for that warning, internet.

oh right, this is a blog about an adorable baby, not the black boob of death. check it out!





violet's latest pursuit is trying to grasp things and put them in her mouth. we are both perpetually covered in drool. her favorite things to nom on are her fists, of course. she's big into squawking too, and my latest project is trying to differentiate between "squawking is awesome, mom" and "i'm a baby on the verge of a meltdown." tummy time is still on the outs, so we've ramped up the number of sessions, though not the duration. but thanks to her demands to be sitting (or "standing") almost all of the time, i broke out the bumbo yesterday. so awesome! she likes it for awhile, so long as there are things to look at, but inevitably she wants picked up for her preferred skytram view of the world. what can i say, we're raising a baby who likes to look down on everything. but look how cute she is!

outings, part two

we just got back from san diego, where violet attended my family's holiday party on saturday night. many of our family friends were eager to meet her for the first time. she went down for a nap right as the first guest arrived, so by the time she woke up, the house was packed. i walked down the stairs with her, face out of course, and the party stopped for a collective "awww" - a very debutante ball entrance. it was pretty great. she even lasted about a half hour before the overstimulation got to her. she later partied some more (dead asleep in kevin's arms), then slept her longest stretch yet (6.5 hours), which i don't expect will be replicated tonight. the biggest hit of the party for her was the sight of her first candle. she zoned on the flame as if i'd laced her milk with lsd.

today kevin stayed at my parents' house with her while i went to lisa's baby shower, which was awash in baby boy cuteness. violet had a couple of nap interruption-related meltdowns, but as a result, she slept in the car nearly three hours on the way back to los angeles. the dogs didn't even puke this trip.

did i forget to mention that last week i scalded my face with boiling water while sterilizing some new bottles? kevin knew i'd closed my eyes in time based on the state of my splotchy pink eyelids. not a great look. i'm fine, just an idiot. the sterilizing of glass bottles (too heavy for my tongs apparently) involved a whole series of science experiments related to a lipase issue with my milk that we seem to have solved for the time being, thus ending poor violet's epic violent tantrums come bottle feeding time. long saga not doable with one-handed typing.

no pictures were taken this weekend, since we continue to be abysmal picture people, so here are a couple of fun time shots taken this past week.





and in keeping with the theme of idiocy, we took violet to the village idiot for brunch with monica and london last weekend. half nap = half success. baby in a bar!

outings

violet is so much more interested in the world these days, and the evening fussiness has really been on the decline - either that, or we're just better at management. she's warming up to toys and will smile and coo at bunnies, monkeys, and other brightly colored animals. i keep reading how no toy will be as interesting as our human faces, but i honestly think her longest conversation has been with a plastic teddy bear head that plays music. i'm sorry we don't have video capabilities yet because the interaction is priceless.

my mom's friend gave her a bouncy seat, and violet will now sit and play in it contentedly for a good ten minutes. i can take showers during the day again! it's very exciting. i read that baby whisperer book this week and took away some useful advice, most significantly to set the baby down when she's calm and pick her up when she fusses. that's been working well for us, thankfully, since we're on a four-week countdown to daycare. in the past i'd avoid setting her down because i knew it'd set her off, and although it does eventually, i'm more confident in my ability to calm her now, so we're working up to longer stretches. i'm also getting her in the crib for about half of her naps (sometimes literally the first half, before i have to coax her through the sleep cycle change and let her nap on me for the second). baby steps. ba dum chhh.

we made it down to san diego and back for thanksgiving - our first big road trip - and much fun was had. the dogs gave us more grief in the car than violet. rudy always pukes at least once, and every time i vow not to feed him breakfast before the drive, but every time i cave in - this time i gave him a half bowl - and regret it. but on the baby steps front, he made it all the way back to los angeles on sunday with a stomach of steel before he unloaded all over the (sheet-covered) floor less than a block from our house. man we love that guy.



then on tuesday my mom came up and gave me a needed nudge (/shove) to embark on another outing - taking violet to the grove to see santa. since violet can never seem to make it through the sleep cycle bump while napping in her stroller, she woke up at half-nap while we were just finishing lunch at the farmer's market (oh most delicious crepe of my life), so we decided to just race her to santa. no line. her shrieks meant business the moment she hit santa's lap, so we quickly adjourned to the nordstrom ladies lounge and promised we'd be back when she wasn't so hungry. but by the time we got back at 3:40pm, santa was on break until 4:30pm - no way violet would make it until then.



i resisted telling violet all the naughty things that "playing reindeer games" might entail. instead we took a picture by the snowman.



(oh by the way, i know violet is technically too young/small to face out in the baby bjorn - usually we still do the moby - but she has great head control and seriously loves it more than anything. i only let her do it for very short periods. she rarely liked being shoulder- or cradle-carried, so she's been facing out in our arms since about day three. when people ask how old she is, i just lie three months to avoid the scrutiny. she is almost there!)

nana was SO DISAPPOINTED about missing santa, and my heart just broke for her. after all, violet got all dolled up for the occasion.



luckily kevin is a genius and suggested we just try again the next morning, which we did. we only wish dada could have joined us too. when santa asked what violet wants for christmas, violet replied, "milk" (pronounced "mrah!" in babyspeak). ah, the milk jokes never get old.

the cuckoo's nest

i'm sure every parent thinks their kid is ahead of the curve in one way or another - or in every way - but seriously, violet is strong. she can bear an amazing amount of weight on her legs already, and her neck strength is getting better everyday. her arm strength, however, is pretty wimpy due to our very wimpy tummy time sessions - we're trying, but it's trying. last week was an unfortunate sleep week because she was busting out of every swaddle i tried, and i am not shy about pulling those things tight. "snug" is the preferred word, i believe. the double burrito (kevin's idea - a second light blanket, held down by her body weight, over the first wrap) held us over for a couple of weeks, but that ended with more blankets creeping up over her face. i spent all week either watching her, then re-swaddling all night if it came too loose, or waking up in a panic that she'd suffocated. at first i thought maybe she just didn't need/want the swaddle anymore, but after a few hours of fits and fuss, i pinned her arms to her sides with my hands, and she fell instantly asleep.

enter the miracle blanket, which those in the know will recognize as the baby straitjacket. i made an emergency run to the pump station on saturday to pick one up, and we have all been sleeping well since. "well" being relative of course - a solid 4-hour stretch at least, occasionally a little more. i've got to get a back-up because you know just when we're at our most tired, she'll poop on this one. they recommend using it until 3-4 months, and i'm praying she doesn't figure out how to worm out of this one before then because i'm pretty sure the MB is the end of the road.

in other news, violet's latest obsession is her hands. i tried to get a stealth shot of her examining them. if she notices me, her attention turns. yes, i'm THAT interesting. not the best work, but you get the idea:



by the way, she's in her favorite hang-out spot - the raised p n' p changing table. "of course the most dangerous place we put her down is what she likes best," kevin said.

on friday, violet was a trooper at her two-month appointment, weighing in at 10 lbs, 2 oz and recovering from the pain of the inoculation in seconds by clamping down on the boob again. she is still measuring in the 25th-ish percentile for everything, but the pediatrician said she'd gained enough weight - the low end (according to the internet, not the doc, who vaguely answers "it's fine" to anything i ask and then has the nerve to act like i should be pleased!), but enough. i'm not necessarily assuaged, but he did tell me to stop waking her up to feed, which i have, save for the 11pm-ish one.

we ventured out on monday to visit my office to great success, save for some crying in the car, and we just got back from my little valley girl's first official trip over the hill on laurel canyon. since kevin works on actual thanksgiving day (and we head for a saturday holiday gathering in san diego), i picked up dinner from joan's on third for kevin and i for tomorrow night: oven roasted carrots; sauteed green beans with shallots and hazelnuts; farro with butternut squash and feta; roasted brussel sprouts with dates, manchego, and almonds; and a chocolate cupcake, a spice cupcake, and rugelach. can you tell that i'm excited?

look who's excited about the OT win this past sunday. thanks and love to aunt erica and uncle mike for the duds!

night owl

i can't stand the cuteness.

in hopes of getting a leap on the myriad of potential sleep issues, i've been reading some of the popular child sleep books - ferber, weissbluth, mindell - and realized that even at eight weeks, we keep violet up too late. well, she's not really up - she nods off in my arms, usually in the sling, at which point we eat some form of microwaved dinner and leftover halloween candy - and then we wake her up to feed around 11 or 11:30pm when we go to bed. we've been lucky in that she then sleeps a good bit. still, i'm paranoid that if i don't feed her often enough, she won't gain the proper amount of weight and/or my milk supply will wane, so i think i wake her up too often to feed, but thankfully we have her two month check-up on friday, so hopefully the weigh-in will assuage my fears (so that i can find something new and exciting to obsess over!). i'm also paranoid that i'm screwing up her sleep schedule by waking her up all the time. in the night, she seriously chows down but hardly even opens her eyes, like a sleepwalking stoner. while the books have some really helpful common ground, the differences seriously char my already fried brain. i can't make heads or tails of if and when i'm supposed to put her down, get her up, follow her lead, get her on a schedule, move her from our room to the crib, and so on. why is there so much conflicting advice among the experts? why can't nine out of ten agree, like they do about toothbrushes? i still can't get violet to nap in the crib during the day, though she sleeps like a champ in slings, arms, and laps.

this past weekend i got my hair done for the first time in almost a year, leaving kevin for his longest solo stretch with violet yet. i was terrified that she'd protest the bottle and scream for an hour (as she has done on occasion since the bottle's debut), but daddy and daughter had no issues. the outing was a nice step towards feeling a bit more like my old self, even on a day like today when it's almost noon and i'm still in milk-stained pjs with a baby asleep in the crook of my arm. how i love her warm little body cuddled against me. the past two nights she has gone down in her bed for the first stretch of sleep while we eat dinner, and it already feels like i'm missing a limb.

monkey

i really wanted violet to be a monkey for halloween, because that's what we call her, but we got two cute pumpkin outfits as gifts, so i couldn't really justify buying a costume that probably wouldn't fit a newborn well anyway. luckily kevin came home from his latest babies r us run with some monkey footie pjs. she's into them. she's also smiling - and dare i say even giggling? - and interacting now, featured here having a chat with the pinwheels on her crib bumper.

violet: do you like milk too?

pinwheel: ...



kevin bought about fifteen bags of candy, and we had about fifteen trick or treaters. i was disappointed, as i'd been hoping for more. i think we're just one street off the beaten path. our neighbor got some 300 kids! violet had complaints of her own. she does not abide wearing pumpkin caps, at least not for more than two quick pictures.

with regards to our friends in texas

violet loves her t-shirt from leo! she only wishes she could be a real austin hipster. we've been encouraging her musical taste by dancing in the kitchen. the mountain goats is her current favorite. she of course selected 'the sunset tree' with its overarching theme of domestic violence. what can i say, it's catchy and soothing. i wonder when we're going to have to start censoring what we sing to her.

kevin is working an angle of his own, often rocking her to a direct tv music channel aptly titled "reality bites," described as "lilith fair and lollapalooza, flannel shirts and dr. martens." it's no "hair guitar" ("bust out the air guitar and spandex and get ready to rock"), but she likes it. lucky for kevin, we got this next onesie in two sizes. (thanks lisa and ali!)



violet sported this look for her very first play date with her pal (and possible future paramour) lucas, who can hopefully appreciate her 90s sensibilities. we were excited to see the deans this weekend (and relieved that violet didn't melt down during the visit).



i've been meaning to say how completely floored i am by people's generosity. violet has received so many incredible gifts, some even from people we don't know, like families of first graders that my sister teaches, and a hand-knitted quilt from my mom's physical therapist. i only hope i can do the same for other babies -- the generosity, not the knitting, one of my many abandoned stress-relief hobbies.

these days violet is alternately ready to party and really pissed off for no apparent reason. proof of the former (with thanks to the nichols family):



while the sleep deprivation sucks, the fussing is what really slays me. we're very lucky so far in that i think the longest bout of wailing has been an hour, and mercifully violet is always consoled (however temporarily) by the milkbags. i nursed her while she got her hep b shot at the pediatrician last week, and when she broke away and started to cry, the nurse said, "re-latch her." i smooshed her face back into my boob, and she immediately clamped down in her charmingly vampiric way. crying fit alleviated by food. she takes after me in that respect, and with the narcolepsy.



violet is currently wearing a "daddy's princess" onesie because i dripped lentil soup on "mommy's little cupcake" a few hours ago. and one-handed life goes on.

one hand

these posts may end up being more sporadic than i thought because i'm now typing with one hand! at two weeks old, a certain baby entered a stage in which she does not like to be put down at all during the day. either she is nursing, sleeping in my lap or arms, or being carried around. i have yet to take a nap since the onset of this new development. the moby wrap is a godsend, but i still end up with one hand supporting her neck because she doesn't like having the comfy cloth behind her slumpy head and much prefers the bony and sweaty crook of my arm, the little flintstone. i have to admit, i love watching her sleep (as she is now) and truly stare at her for hours. she vogues with one hand on her cheek in the cutest way. i would take a photo but you probably don't need a close-up of my boob.

i'm curious how this swaddling thing will pan out. violet now hates the swaddle and houdinis her way out of it once she realizes she's wrapped up, yet she can't sleep in her co-sleeper or pack n play without it because within sixty seconds she smacks herself in the face and wakes up. she has to be pretty sauced on the breast milk at night before she's unconscious enough for us to wrap her. yet miraculously she can sleep in any position at all when lying on a stomach.

she's also awake much more during the day so i try to take advantage of the "quiet alert" periods. she actually enjoys tummy time on her play mat (she already wants to crawl soooo bad) and usually falls asleep in the stroller during our afternoon walk. our pediatrician is conservative and wants us to wait until two months until we start taking her out publicly beyond "walks and grandma's house." although i don't really think this level of caution is necessary, we'll follow the rules because we're not rebels at heart.





in other news, violet's umbilical stumpy thing fell off awhile ago, so she's been enjoying an expanded wardrobe beyond her signature shirtless-with-diaper look of the first two weeks.

next week daddy is on hiatus, and we have a lot of walks and naps on the agenda.

nana

violet and i want to say a big thank you to nana for all of her cooking, dish washing, laundering, neatening, soothing, story reading, love and advice these first two weeks. we miss her already but look forward to her next visit... this weekend with poppy and auntie courtney!

the mondays

kevin went back to work today, but thankfully nana came up from san diego for a few more days while i get my sea legs. until i also recover my mental faculties, these posts will be pretty slim, but hopefully a few pictures will make up for it.

highlights this past weekend include our first walk with the stroller (violet was fascinated by the shadows made by the fluttering swaddle blanket acting as her shade); violet's first swing; and lisa's pumpkin chocolate chip muffins (not for babies). low points include a diaperless poopsplosion on the ten-step walk to the sink for a bath; the hiccups; and our dreadful 1-2 football teams.

i know we have to face the real world, but we sure miss daddy today.

the first week

my mom has been cooking all of our meals - salmon with tomato and basil, cranberry quinoa and roasted asparagus, my childhood favorite oatmeal raisin pancakes - while we fumble to feed violet, change violet, swaddle violet, and comfort violet. everything else looks pretty much like this.

introducing violet

violet katherine, 7 lbs 1 oz, 19 inches, was born on saturday, september 18 at 8:48pm. we are so in love with her already and can't wait for you to meet her!

i finished work on friday and started having contractions around midnight. i tried to sleep but kept waking up two or three times an hour to the contractions. i finally got out of bed around 6am and started trying to time the contractions, but they were totally irregular - ten minutes, seven minutes, nineteen minutes. late morning, i went for almost a half hour with nothing, and annoyed, i asked kevin if we could take the dogs for a walk. the walk got the contractions going again, and i'm sure a few passersby were disturbed by the very pregnant woman leaning against the lamppost and doing yoga breaths.

the contractions started to get closer together, but i still assumed i was in false labor because of the irregularity. kevin launched into frantic baby prep mode and put together the baby's swing while i moved from couch to chair to exercise ball, finally realizing the contractions were seven, six, five minutes apart. my doctor said to go to the hospital when the contractions had been five minutes apart and one minute long for an hour. kevin loaded the car, and we left the dogs with their favorite treat, assuring them that they'd be forgiven for any accidents in the house if we were gone for long.

the 101 was jammed. about an hour later, we got to the hospital a little after 4pm. i insisted that i could walk from the parking structure, but we had to stop about seven times so that i could breathe through the contractions. again, i'm sure passersby were freaked. the nurse finally put us in a room and said she'd check me. "we left the bags in the car in case we don't get admitted," kevin said. after confirming that this was my first baby, she replied, "that was probably a good idea." but when she checked me, even she seemed surprised. 4-5 cm dilated, 90% effaced. after we answered a bunch of questions about my illegal drug habits and when i wanted the epidural ("as soon as possible"), they tried to get an IV into my hand twice without success. considering the circumstances, it's amazing how much that still hurt. "we'll move you to the other side first," one nurse said cryptically. "what's the other side?" i asked, assuming i was dying. "the labor rooms," she answered.

someone in the hall shouted congratulations to kevin as he ran alongside the gurney. that was a great movie moment. then came the bad news. the only anesthesiologist on the floor was prepping a woman for an emergency c-section and couldn't do my epidural until he was finished. "how long?" i asked. "soon," the nurse said. "okay, but how long?" i asked again. the nurses exchanged a look. "about thirty minutes," one said hesitantly.

kevin figured out right away how to read my monitor. as the pain got worse and the contractions got longer and closer together, he would tell me when they were peaking and then assure me they were coming down. that's what i'll remember most - his voice comforting me. every time i'd open my eyes, there was a weird sensation as things came back slowly into focus.

finally the anesthesiologist showed up after 7pm. i was dilated to 8cm. i sat on the side of the bed, curled forward while the nurse held me steady and i listened to all the potential side effects that i was risking for this drug. holding still through the contractions, my head braced against the nurse's boobs, was the scariest part, but ten minutes later, the relief was overwhelming. i love you, epidural.

kevin was probably as relieved as i was. i could still feel the contractions, but they didn't hurt anymore. our doctor wasn't on call for the weekend, meaning one of the other two doctors in the practice (both of whom i'd met and liked) would probably do the delivery, but she'd promised she'd try to come and was actually on her way! in a half hour, i was dilated to 9cm, then another half hour to 10cm! my doctor walked in to find me ready to push. just then my sister showed up from san diego, in time to hold my knee back with kevin. i'll spare you the gore and just say that i only had to push for about 15 minutes - officially the fastest delivery of the day. violet was born, and there aren't words to describe the experience as she was laid on my chest. amazing just doesn't cover it. kevin and i have hardly stopped staring at her since.

forty weeks

tick tock tick tock tick tock...