i can't stand the cuteness.
in hopes of getting a leap on the myriad of potential sleep issues, i've been reading some of the popular child sleep books - ferber, weissbluth, mindell - and realized that even at eight weeks, we keep violet up too late. well, she's not really up - she nods off in my arms, usually in the sling, at which point we eat some form of microwaved dinner and leftover halloween candy - and then we wake her up to feed around 11 or 11:30pm when we go to bed. we've been lucky in that she then sleeps a good bit. still, i'm paranoid that if i don't feed her often enough, she won't gain the proper amount of weight and/or my milk supply will wane, so i think i wake her up too often to feed, but thankfully we have her two month check-up on friday, so hopefully the weigh-in will assuage my fears (so that i can find something new and exciting to obsess over!). i'm also paranoid that i'm screwing up her sleep schedule by waking her up all the time. in the night, she seriously chows down but hardly even opens her eyes, like a sleepwalking stoner. while the books have some really helpful common ground, the differences seriously char my already fried brain. i can't make heads or tails of if and when i'm supposed to put her down, get her up, follow her lead, get her on a schedule, move her from our room to the crib, and so on. why is there so much conflicting advice among the experts? why can't nine out of ten agree, like they do about toothbrushes? i still can't get violet to nap in the crib during the day, though she sleeps like a champ in slings, arms, and laps.
this past weekend i got my hair done for the first time in almost a year, leaving kevin for his longest solo stretch with violet yet. i was terrified that she'd protest the bottle and scream for an hour (as she has done on occasion since the bottle's debut), but daddy and daughter had no issues. the outing was a nice step towards feeling a bit more like my old self, even on a day like today when it's almost noon and i'm still in milk-stained pjs with a baby asleep in the crook of my arm. how i love her warm little body cuddled against me. the past two nights she has gone down in her bed for the first stretch of sleep while we eat dinner, and it already feels like i'm missing a limb.
Oh the 'missing a limb' remark rings true for me too. Congratulations on your outing, Mama.
ReplyDeleteOh, the sleep issues! The conflicting sleep experts drove me up the wall too. I found the most useful to be Dr. Ferber and Tracey Hogg when it comes to sleep. Don't worry so much about not feeding her enough; babies won't let themselves starve. If she's hungry, she will wake up and let you know! That being said, Tracey Hogg advocates something called "dream-feeding" that I did with Johnny until he was almost 10 months old. When it seemed like he was tired (about 9:30 when he was Violet's age), we'd do the bedtime routine and put him down in his crib. Then about and hour and a half later, I'd sneak in, pick him up and feed him while he was still asleep. Then he woke me up when he was hungry later that night.
ReplyDeleteNone of the sleep experts will agree because kids are SO different. Dr. Ferber worked for us and now Johnny sleeps through the night like a champ. But for now, just kind of read her signs; maybe keep a sleep journal to get an idea of her habits. That really helped me. Okay, this comment is long enough.
You're doing a great job, mama!!
you guys are so nice, i really appreciate the votes of confidence. we are at a 9:30ish bedtime now too. it doesn't always work out, but we are trying!
ReplyDeleteHow is the sleep going these days? I can definitely sympathize with the worry about weight gain and milk supply. We actually woke Simon up every night at 11 or 11:30 until he stopped nursing. To be honest, though, I also didn't want to stop because if we woke him up for a late feeding, he would sleep in until 8:30 or 9. When we didn't wake him for a feeding, he'd get up early, at around 6 or 7 (unideal for the grad student schedule we were on). At that point, I think we were putting him to bed pretty early, but that was basically an incidental result of the feeding schedule our lactation consultant put us on in the bad early days of all the interventions.
ReplyDeleteAs for all the conflicting advice, my advice about that is to find an approach that suits the parenting style that you and Kevin want to go with and test out whether or not Violet finds it agreeable. I think success is maybe 20% about our intentions as parents and at least 80% the individual personality of the child.
And I know this is long, but you're doing such a great job, Stacey! And Violet is totally adorable.
thanks, t. i appreciate your rooting. we are big time doing the dream feed. as her night sleep grows longer, we'll experiment with eliminating it, but if it buys us lengthened sleep, it's probably a keeper for awhile. of course once i go back to work in six weeks, her target wake-up is probably 6:30am (arrrgh).
ReplyDeletei honestly haven't delved too much into parenting styles and how they're defined, though considering that i carry her all day long and let her sleep on me, i imagine i'm skewing pretty far into the attachment parenting camp. i'm continuing to experiment with putting her down during the day, and we've had some small victories (not with naps, but with her playing on her own in her crib or her snuggle nest). i'll keep trying, but she's just going to have to adjust once she starts day care. whether or not i adjust is another story!
are we going to see you and simon over the holidays?!?
Well, perhaps the term "parenting style" is more formal than I intended. What you describe sounds like the kind of thing I mean - that is to say, our parenting style meant that we were okay with some attachment parenting stuff (hooray for the sling!!), but not others (co-sleeping wasn't for us) and we were also okay with letting Simon cry it out a little when we put him down. Basically, whatever works to make you happy and Violet happy is probably the best possible thing.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes! We will definitely see you over the holidays!!! We absolutely want to see you guys and are dying to meet Violet! We'll be in PQ for two weeks between 12/22 and 1/4 or so.
t! i forgot we were chatting here! boy do i have some questions about your experience. we've got to talk! i can't wait to see you. :-)
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