expecting different results

despite the fact that violet's feet have finally reached size 5, opening up a world of new footwear opportunities, she has entered into the shoe refusal phase. you may remember her very vocal protests when she first started walking? well, now she can rip off the shoes herself, and when she can't, it's full-on hulk rage. i mean for crying out loud, who wouldn't want to wear these damn cute red vans? at this point she's basically shoeless 90% of the time. don't DARE bring a sock into her sight line. she will give you the smack down, and i mean that quite literally.

yeah, we're working on the hitting and pinching and hair pulling. by "working on" i suppose i mean continuing the same strategy of telling her not to do it because it hurts people. einstein should redefine insanity as parenting a toddler. violet's latest thing is to unleash one of these favorite activities, and then immediately give your wound site a kiss before you even have the chance to say "no (violent action gerund)." then she smiles with pride that she made your boo boo all better with her magic lips. at least the vampire bite marks on my neck are still trending, right?

daycare was closed for staff development last friday, so i took violet to meet up with my mom and sister for brunch and an outing to the very cute zoomars. auntie courtney got some great shots of violet feeding lettuce to the zedonks -- an endearing donkey-zebra hybrid -- so i'll have to snatch those from her to post. the most popular attraction by far was the "sandbox" filled with dried corn. it was a pretty sleepy weekday morning in the little beach town of san juan capistrano, but the corn sandbox was going off like a vegas hotspot. violet did not want to leave.

i took an additional day off for a "mealtime behavior modification session" with my original (and awesome) lactation consultant. you can skip this paragraph if toddler nursing makes you squeamish. for you few interested parties, the first step of her "gentle" weaning plan involves getting more calories into violet, and offering beverages before she asks to nurse. i have to admit, i was pretty floored to see the feeding strategies in action at our lunch table. violet ate like a horse: salmon, then roasted-in-olive-oil carrots and zucchini, then a biscuit with almond butter, then berries and yogurt. afterwards, violet did, as always, want to nurse down to her nap (which of course she only does at home with me; at daycare she just lays down on her cot and goes to sleep, wtf?), but she took no milk because she was presumably too full. number one rule at the meal table? declarative sentences, never questions. the food is "mine," i take the first bite, and then i offer the plate to her. "do you want some ____?" is replaced with "i'll share this with you." you build interest by eating first, and by god, violet could barely stand to wait her turn while the lc and i took bites. when offered the plate, violet shoved fistfuls in like she might not get offered more. i could go on and on; there are lots of rules. you do shared plates, courses, order the foods a specific way, never say "mm mm" or the like, etc. it's ellyn satter stuff, and it's clearly designed to have the kids serving themselves from family-style plates as soon as feasible. i don't know how realistic it all is on a day-to-day logistics basis (it ends in lots of dishes and requires lots of meal planning), but i do know that the various ways i've been modeling eating for violet have been working like a freaking charm in terms of getting her to eat more, and more variety. i've heard far less of the usual dohn yikes. "vivi dohn yike turk." "vivi dohn yike yohg." "vivi dohn yike (fill in the blank with things that she does like)." to be continued.

we're heading into a hiatus week for kevin and jury duty for me, so i'm not sure when i'll return. a couple more pics to tide over you grandmas.

vivi yike ama (dada-daughter date at baskin robbins):

vivi dohn yike gee peeg:

abc to 182

sometimes we like to keep things tame:



and sometimes we like to rage:

dada, go werk

violet loves to give kevin the business. let's say i volunteer that we're going to ride the train, yay! "we can all sit together, violet, mama and dada!" about half the time, violet will drop her little choo-chooing arm and turn sullen: "no dada. go werk!" sometimes this plays to kevin's advantage, of course. "dada's going to change your poo poo diaper!" "no dada. go werk!" she's a little slave driver, that one.

on the car ride home the other day, something came up about how the dogs go poo poo outside. violet volunteered, "dada go poo poo ow-syy."

lately violet is obsessed with her three little pigs book. i was recalling the story for her on a walk to the coffee shop, and when i got to the part about how the big bad wolf burns his bottom when he tries to climb down the chimney, violet -- who is really into kisses for boo boos -- suggested, "dada kees bii baa wuf bah-um."

so in the world according to violet, kevin is an ass-kissing workaholic who shits outdoors.

happy father's day!

but on the flip side of the coin, violet reserves her most delighted giggles for kevin. when i pick her up from daycare, she usually gives me a look of desperation and declares "eat!" as if she thinks i'm going to drag her out of there before they dispense the dixie cups of the world's most budget animal crackers. but when kevin walks in the door after work, she breaks out in a grin, sometimes in a peal of delighted laughter.

apparently she wants his haircut too.

many nights, kevin is, in fact, still at "werk" when i'm putting her to bed, and she always asks for him, expecting his goodnight kiss. sometimes, when i explain that he's still at work, she turns forlorn: "no dada werk. ho hows!" she doesn't yet get the distinction between "home" and "house," so she likes to sandwich them together, as if to cover her bases.

on sunday morning kevin's big gift was sleeping in.

as usual, violet and i went to the local farmer's market to do our produce shopping for the week. we spent a long time in the petting zoo, and she was pretty tired by the end. "do you want to go to the park?" i asked, to which she replied, "nooo. wah go ho see dada. ho hows." it's like she knew it was father's day.

we make a lot of these "come home" videos to send to kevin when he's busy werking.



i yuh yoo too, dada.

the smirk

violet walked into the kitchen and handed my phone to kevin the other day. she constantly asks to "type," so i let her. usually what i find is a google search for qqqqqqaaaaqawaqqq. her left thumb must like that corner of the keyboard. the other day, no lie, i discovered an open website dedicated to getting your anxiety under control. what's she trying to tell me? anyway, kevin accepted her offer of my phone and then asked me, "why does the screen say SD card deleting files?" well... problem "solved"? i never made it to the verizon store for help retrieving my locked data, and thus you will never see the video of violet flawlessly performing mozart at carnegie hall.

on the upside, my camera works again, allowing me to share more cuteness with you.

swimming lessons! kevin and i have been taking her to the (politically correct) parent-child swim classes at the ymca, and she is doing great. we weren't sure what to expect, but they really are teaching some valuable skills to the 6-36 month range. violet can pull herself out of the pool and has gotten (too) brave about jumping back in to us. she kicks vigorously while holding onto her kickboard, and she is starting to figure out that she's supposed to circle her arms while we tow her around on the noodle, chasing after rubber duckies. she can monkey crawl along the wall, but she is not down with being floated on her back. unlike several of her classmates, she'll tolerate being dunked, although i won't say she enjoys it. she talks about the "swih pooh" all week, and about "tee-cheh cho-cheh" (teacher joseph), who referees a cutthroat race of red light/green light.

the latest neighborhood happening is dandelion hunting. or "daa-lie," as violet calls them. "wah boh daa-lie." when she blows, most of the florets end up in her mouth or ours. when kevin walks the dogs alone in the morning, he takes note of the patches of grass with the best finds for later. unfortunately violet now seems to think that she's allowed to pick any flowers, anywhere. a farmer's market vendor was not pleased to see a stalk of bamboo go missing from his stock, and i'm sure the trader joe's security cameras have violet on watch for petal-lifting. neighbors' flowerbeds suffer the most. this photo excepted, we grab her hands to stop her, but she's quick.

her quickness is noted regularly by the daycare staff. if she goes to smack/shove/pinch another kid, the teachers will pin her arms (hug-style) as they recite the "we don't hit our friends" party line, but before they know it, she's kicking her legs, still trying to get at whatever kid stole her plastic dinosaur or looked at her sideways. the teachers tell me they're often stifling their laughter behind their backs, but man, i know violet knows they're laughing and am sure it only eggs her on. do i smirk a lot? does kevin? because violet is smirking ALL THE TIME. i know you probably think i'm reading adult comprehension into her expressions, but i'm telling you, she smirks. i've tried so many times to capture the smirk on camera, but do you think that little rascal will give me the satisfaction? she's so over posing for photos that i spent a half hour trying to get a decent shot of the "ladybug tattoo" that she came home with the other day. i finally resorted to the bag of shredded cheese to get the job done.

she's long been obsessed with kevin's tattoo and was quite pleased to have her own, until i washed it away in the bath. she has declared many times, "vivi wah tattoo TOO!" "do you want a butterfly on your lower back?" i asked her. "YEAH!"

uh oh.

and OMG how could i have almost forgotten this milestone. 20 lbs in 20 months! "new cah seat!"