fall back

we had a whirlwind fall that feels like even more of a blur now that i'm thinking of how to recap it. every time this happens, when i go a couple of months without writing an update here, i start sifting through the pictures and feeling that pang - it goes so fast. i mean, the hours don't go fast of course. i can feel that even as i'm being charmed by this adorable picture of violet in the fall leaves and remembering how we had a ball on that particular walk to the farmers market, because i know that she soon after complained that i wouldn't buy a balloon or a tattoo, even after a pony ride and the inflatable slide; she ran through the crowd and into an old lady's shins; she insisted i carry her along with our bags of potatoes and then pulled "the reins" of my hair to giddy up! the strawberries got smooshed, the plastic pony fell in the gutter, and i remembered my coffee was back at the egg stand. all those things happened, maybe not on the same sunday, i don't know, it doesn't matter. i look at the picture and remember the walk, and how violet gathered a pile of leaves, hid them in a bush, and then retrieved them on the way home.

some sundays i think i'll never leave the farmers market without a butter croissant handprint on my boob, but of course one day soon enough i will, sunday after sunday, year after year, until another mother is apologizing into my shins as her child runs off again, zoom.

violet has gotten brave on her scooter. she rides all the way to the blue mailbox, as fast as she can go, and then curves around the corner until she's an inch from being out of sight before she turns around and comes back. "get in the fast lane, mama," she said on the drive today. it does feel like we're always in a hurry, and i hate that. the best thing about sundays is dawdling.

what i know i'll remember most about this past fall is that violet's bestie, her nana, became a melanoma survivor. that was slow motion too, waiting and worrying, and then her difficult recoveries from two grisly surgeries, yet somehow it's already in the blur, between the lines, or between the pictures, at least, of nana in her cute new cap.

the bright spot was that my family spent more time together than we probably would have, and they all came up for the annual pumpkin patch outing.

it's always a bright spot for the dogs when a couch bed is made.

another bright spot for violet was getting to take the train to san diego for the first time.

and nana buying her halloween costume, anna from frozen. we couldn't find her size at the disney store, and as she looked longingly at the $90 coronation gown, which had plenty of sizes available, nana remembered some knockoffs at nordstrom, where there was, mercifully, one lone gown left in her size. violet wouldn't even take it off before dinner at yanni's bistro.

many people have complimented violet's unconventional choice of anna over elsa, and i've smiled every time, feeling a secret spark of pride at my little rebel, who recently informed me that her costume next year will be elsa.

please feel free to stoke my pride instead by complimenting my olaf, who eventually did get some stick arms.

violet posed with him before school and then aptly kicked off her day with some sugar.

shortly after i got to my desk, kevin texted me "what happened???" followed by a photo of pumpkin massacre. olaf had toppled when the mail was delivered. i mean, shit, right? so in a testament to how far i will go to avoid a major violet freakout, i bought another pumpkin after work and did a quick re-carve before dusk.

violet loved trick-or-treating as much as she did last year, and almost as much as kevin and i love taking her. here's the crazy goth house

and here's the candy haul that she's thankfully still too young to keep strict tabs on.

as usual, i'm running out of time, but i keep meaning to post violet drawing her self-portrait

for "all about me" at school, where the teachers compiled each child's answers to a series of questions about themselves.

the last question was about what you and your family like to do together. her teachers must think we're pretty militant, but hey, violet doesn't draw her e's backwards anymore.

she is apparently also tired of being featured on this blog eating pastries.